Red Confectionery

Silly man

2008-09-23T00:03:00.003+12:00

So I was having coffee with this Irish guy last night. (Not a rower)

He did several things that are wrong in my books.

1. Tells me, an hour in, that he does not have much luck with the ladies.
2. Lets out that he has family issues.
3. Lets out that he has emotional issues.
4. Lets out that he has issues.

I have never understood why some guys go over board with Too Much Information. For example, telling me that they don't have good luck with the ladies. I mean seriously, lie about it! Tell us you have a trail of fine sheilas after you. Do you think it will come as a turn on to us that you don't? No! No, no, no, no.

Well, maybe some girls. The ones that are looking for a male to fix. A male to save. But this is too much for me, give me robust emotional health any day. It's totally sexy. And the age-old clichè - if you don't like yourself, how can you expect me to?

I don't get it. I'd love to be a guy. All they need is confidence and they automatically become attractive to most girls. Where as we need to rely on aesthetics. And most of these guys are smart, sweet and good looking. Just missing the self esteem. Get some.

Blatant showing off + thank God for pizza

2008-09-22T01:26:00.004+12:00

Everyone has had a job that they don't like. For most of us this occurs when we're students, and inevitably in our first jobs. And I guess when travelling.

Right now I've got one of those menial jobs to get me by. Although, in a hotel in the middle of Dublin, it couldn't be more ideal. Along with cheap accomodation, I get a wide range of perks and free touristy stuff, if I was so inclined. There's also a wee Old Wive's Tale going on: apparently five former receptionists have met their future husbands through working here. Wouldn't that save a lot of hassle in the future. This city is awfully romantic...

But I'm a bit concerned that I'm really starting to resent other people. Ie. other backpackers. The questions I get asked. Directions, bus timetables, trains, pubs, food, adaptors, laundry, the airport, do I look like a bloody encyclopaedia? No.

I am as clueless as every other backpacker, and cannot help these poor, poor travellers.

As well as that, I have to show unfortunate people to apartments in the most complicated building ever - last week I took two lovely couples from Sweden and Belfast through a series of wrong exits and up and down four flights of stairs. With luggage. Arrrggh.

Anyway, the point of this post was to show off. Last night as we were about to unlock the door to our room and crash, my buddy decided to buy a piece of pizza. I'm so glad she did. This resulted in us meeting the Irish National Rowing team, a group of freakishly tall (abs included), freakishly handsome blokes. Just as we were all talking about how nice it would be to meet some ridey fellas; our prayers were answered. And they have Irish accents.

And I'm happy. Happy happy happy happy jumping for joy. Just having the best time. Helped by the fact that AcDc Shook me all night long came on last night. Life is worth showing off right now.

xx L

Relocating

2008-09-18T04:07:00.004+12:00

Yikes. Just realised, I miss Sydney! Next thing you know, I'll be a Kaussie.

I miss the fast-pacedness and my crazy friends that escaped the UK to go there.

xx L

I love you, Winston, but please go away

2008-09-17T08:13:00.005+12:00

Does anyone else get the urge to pluck their retinas out in boredom when they read about Winston's latest debaucle (for the trillioninth time) ??

New Zealand Herald: I do not care.

About this, this, this, this, this this this this this this this and this. Arggggggggggggggh.

Personally, I think he just wants to go out with a bang. Considering his voters are ageing and he can't think of any more populist catchphrases. Or, he just doesn't care anymore, like myself. Anyone who's watched NZ First's opening address for the 2005 election will agree. Poor effort. And you know what? We let him get away with it. He has stuffed around with both major parties and has openly accepted the baubles of office and become a walking contradiction. But we still take him seriously, while he enjoys giving politicians a bad name.

And how is it different from him drinking at every bar in Wellington for free? Is that not a bribe for the coolness of Mr Peter's presence?

Please. Enough.

P.S. I'm not condoning corruption, just sick of hearing about it.

xx L

The peace of boredom

2008-09-17T07:09:00.004+12:00

After two hours of reading a selection of whatever I could find in the bookshelves of my striking blue residence along the River Liffey, I am suitably motivated enough to write something. The Da Vinci Code can only be read a certain number of times, you know. Funnily enough, the riddles that Sophie and Langdon have to solve become extremely obvious after a while. The thrill has gone.

So, yurrup, still lovin' Dublin. Victory of victories, we actually managed to get invited to an Irish party on Friday night. Those who have gone backpacking before will know that it's impossible to avoid other backpackers and even more impossible to get invited to local parties. This party could've beat our old apartment's crowdedness any day. And, as a gorgeous young female redhead was hosting, it was a certifiable sausage fest (this was a good thing). The Irish definitely know how to party, and to this point have lived up to all my preconceptions (also a good thing).

Alright, so I should probably write something opinionated and vaguely resembling intelligence. Let's start with politics.

It always riles me when someone says they don't give a damn about the government, because politics doesn't affect them. I was hanging with this BBC editor from Manchester in Hong Kong. We were walking along Yi Lo Road in the city when I asked him if it bothered him that there were so many poor people there. He said, "Naaah, doesn't affect me." My quicker than usual tongue (thank you, Aussies, for making me brazen!), responded with a brief explanation of current inflation levels, rising interest rates and high oil prices: all a result of people like the ones around us growing their economy at a later time than the OECD (that's what it is, right...?). And it certainly didn't get me laid that night, but it saved me from a lecture about how the British did everyone such a favour by colonising them. Believe me, the conversation would've gone down that road sooner or later.

On a side note, has anyone ever noticed how notoriously stingy the British are? This particular guy didn't even drink because he didn't like spending the money. Fair enough, but still....

Politics is also affecting me: I've come to The Republic of Ireland at the end of a cabinet reshuffle that has replaced big spenders with politicians that would peel an orange in their pocket. Like, there are hardly any civil servant jobs right now. All good though, I will probably still get one, if you count working for the local Med School a Public Sector job - what is it with me and the Health Industry this year - I was an Arts student.

And the situation in New Zealand. It isn't affecting me hugely, but current preliminary poll results are messing with my Chi. Good thing I'm not a supporter of LibertariaNZ (with a Z) though, now that would be a stressful, tragic, losing battle. Or ACT (the fuckers).

And politics has truly, truly affected my travel. Being ripped off in Asia, being detained at Heathrow for no good reason, and having to change my travel plans from the U.K. to Dublin within a matter of days. Not that I would change a thing right now.

So those are my superficial reasons. Now that's more interesting than the price of milk.

Home of the Hot Accents

2008-09-12T06:14:00.000+12:00

After Sydney, Auckland, Shanghai, Hong Kong and London-in-a-hurry, I have finally arrived.

And what a lovely place to arrive in.

In order to educate myself quickly on all things Irish, we took a tour of the Liffey River and had dinner at the Brazen Head, oldest pub in Ireland.

Bonus facts about Ireland:

1. The harp logo on Guiness is deliberately different to the National Emblem, as the government doesn't want to appear to endorse drinking. And apparently the Irish don't need encouragement.

Yikes, just realised that the only facts I remember had something to do with Guiness (did you know the water for it comes from the Liffey?).

Enough now.

Do love this place though, even though it is now raining for the tenth time in three days. My first impressions are colourful flowers and vines, old brick buildings, hilarious people and hot accents.

Things are happening even faster than they did in Sydney. Within two days I had a tax number, back account and job.

Looks like Ireland and me are meant to be.

xx L

Hong Kong

2008-09-06T22:18:00.002+12:00

Probably one of the most happening places I have ever visited. It reminds me of those marsh things I studied in school: warm, wet and flourishing with growth and activity. I didn't mean for that to sound like a description of one's nether regions.

The shops here have totally blown me away. I have no idea why Kiwis insist on shopping weekends away in Sydney - shopping there is crap compared to this city. Cheap things, labelled things, unecessary things, come on down to Hong Kong. D&G, Calvin Klein, DKNY - I am blown away. The clothes are so exquisitely beautiful I thought I might faint (Please, if there is a God, give me a boyfriend who will buy me Burberry!). Unfortunately the sales assistants are like hawks (so would I if my job was 100% commission) and they can smell a European from the entrance. I have tried to avoid eye contact. It's so hard to browse when someone is following you around. I was even given a container in a jewellery store - like a miniature shopping trolley. Who do they think I am, Michael Hill? Jay siz. But I am in heaven.

I got my hair done for about a tenth of the price it would usually cost (Bonus - hot Asian men - I didn't even think they would be my type). My guy was so patient with my curly hair. I pitied him because he only had a tiny straightener, and it took ages. And then ten minutes outside - frizz eruption. You could set a timer by it. I was veeeery tempted to do the old chemical straighten, but that would be a huge committment. I'd have to grow it out. Curly roots and straight ends - ugh.

Another thing I've noticed is instant Green Tea machines. And the plethora of hot food, with an emphasis on soup. No wonder everyone here is so skinny; less carbohydrates and more hydration.

The prices baffle me however. There is no consistency whatsoever. The fine food section in Sogos department store prices packets of fresh fruit for three times the price of a top I bought. I don't get it, everyone knows that fresh food is the best quality - and you can't get that in a packet!
I read a book once about some expats living in Hong Kong. I expected the people here to be unpleasant towards me but they've been nice as pie. In the book they ended up getting murdered by the Triads though, so probably not a good comparison...

On my first night I walked outside, thought it was still daylight the lights were so bright. As for sightseeing, I just don't think I'm a touristy person. So not into structured fun. I prefer to get my international education by going out on the town and seeing everyone with their hair down.
Hotel is not so great - but there are three very good looking university educated guys in my vicinity. I'm sorry, I'm all into fine things but I'm travelling by myself and would like to meet some fine things, thank you.

Went out last night to some very nice places, very nice champagne and very nice food. One of the bars, not that we went in, was run by a guy that 'takes care' of debts. Tres exciting. And I had lobster for the first time ever - biggest crustacean I have ever set my teeth into. And I have to say, Cactus Kate is one hot piece of ass!

There's a legislative council election today - not that anyone votes, apparently. And there was a Falun Gong demonstration too. A guy was pretending to take someone's organs out. Bought the issue a little closer to home for me. Torture and corruption not good.

Having a blast. Could honestly live here. Was worth working my butt off all year for a bit of travel. And I can't seem to stop writing blog posts.

xx L

Dodgy culinary experiences

2008-09-04T22:33:00.002+12:00

Now I am not a fussy person when it comes to food. Give me anything, as long as it's not meat or battery hen eggs (Even then I can be convinced), and I'll eat it. Twice in living memory have I come across food that is truly disgusting. There is this place on Pitt St in Sydney, I think it may be Korean. It is right next to a backpackers so it has a fresh and continuous stream of unsuspecting travellers. It is also comparitively cheap - it is hard to find cheap food in Sydney.

One day I was walking home. I had been drinking on an empty stomach and was starving. Famished. I stopped at this place and ordered three choices. Proud of the fact that I was "trying something new." The first choice was tofu - you can rarely go wrong with that - I can even eat it raw. Then whole eggs and a vege stir fry. From behind the glass, it looked absolutely fine. It may have been my imagination but the girl behind the counter gave me an amused look, as if to say: "Haha, silly gweillo, you shall see." Turns out, the tofu was so hard it could have been used for car tyres. Same with the eggs. The vegies contained a rubbery "fish" substance, bringing to mind images of shark skin. There were some unidentifiable slug things throughout, all was covered in a sickly sweet sauce and to top it all off, a sizeable piece of animal bone was swimming around the container. I still tried to eat it, of course - hunger is a powerful thing - but couldn't.

Afterwards, when me and my travel buddy walked past, we'd warn people not to eat there, and always stop to see what kind of crap they had on the fryer that day.

Now I'm not being culturally insensitive - that food was just terrible. I'm certain that it was some kind of cruel joke.

And today... that food has been surpassed. On my flight from Shanghai to Hong Kong I was given some fish rice. It started off OK with a bread roll and Tararua (whoopee) butter. But behold, the main dish:

Wrinkled peas and corn with some slivers of white fish, full of grey veins. Coated in a slimy, gelatinous sauce and tasting the way a fresh fish shop smells. Served with rice and steamed Chinese brocilli that tasted as if it had been cooked in a kid's chrorinated swimming pool. On the side was some chilli bamboo stuff, which I'm sure also tasted of chlorophill - if I ever had the pleasure of being gassed.

I saw the look of disdain on the air hostesses' face when I handed back my almost untouched meal. She was thinking that I can't handle the Asian Tang.

And you know what, I think she's right.

Shanghai

2008-09-03T21:15:00.002+12:00

Is crazy. Imagine, a place with next to no road rules - who needs indicators when you can just turn? - and a dizzying and seemingly endless array of apartment blocks. I can't make head nor tail of it, as the people seem to be missing. There are plenty around, though not as many as you would expect. They are mostly on the road, riding bikes with no helmets and carrying oversized baggage on the back.

The locals are lovely and manage to be helpful even though I don't know a word of Chinese. I'm staying in Pudong for some reason; the financial capital. I dont usually take taxis unless drunk, but I have here. I've gotten lost already - I tried to remember my bearings but walked into a shopping mall and - understandably, so many bargains - walked out disorientated, and had to cab back. The sun and heat proved to be too much.

People stare at me wherever I go, probably thinking, "Who is that peculiar looking person with the yellow jandals?" And whoever said Europe is relaxed, they need to check Shanghai out. Although - thankfully - there's no public displays of nakedness, I've passed a couple of pot (actual pot) plants growing on the side of the road, and managed to haggle a ticket to Hong Kong down by 400 RNB. I didn't even know you could do that.

There's lots of salespeople, and I am their prey. Unfortunately I was born with an inability to say "no" and I'm charmed by their sweetness and persuasion. So is my rapidly dwindling wallet. But I found some great hair products. Deodorant and shavers are hard to find - so jealous of Chinese women - it seems they neither sweat or need to shave their legs. Right now there's a shopping festival going on, the theme for it is "Enjoy shopping, enjoy life" - I love the Chinese.

I haven't had a conversation with anyone for over 24 hours, an event that I don't believe has happened since I learned how to talk. I'm loving the amount of Green Tea everywhere and the best thing is - I can smoke wherever I want! And they cost next to nothing.

Food is a bit of a problem - given up completely on being vegetarian. Yesterday's lunch consisted of tofu and a plate of deep fried things. Could've been animal or vegetable - maybe even mineral.

There are locusts flying outside my hotel window. Forget Australian cockroaches - these things are freaky. And the cutest, skinniest kitten said hi to me in a fruit shop. I wanted to take it home and make it as fat as a Westerner.

When people talk about how fast China's economy is growing, they are so right. You can actually see it happening - unfinished skyscrapers are everywhere and I can constantly hear the wheels of new infrastructure being built. (Lots of banging and machinery) I sometimes wonder what the world would be like having China replace the U.S. as the world's economic superpower.

All in all I having a good time - by myself - but am looking forward to a country that speaks my language. The amount of time I spent on this post (20 mins) is an attribute to that. Who blogs when they're having fun? And previous generations of freckly English people have left me unequiped to deal with this weather - it is intense.

Hong Kong tomorrow, and if I can get my phone to work I'll be meeting up with one of my favourite bloggers - should be a blast.

xx L

The pursuit of happiness

2008-08-25T16:53:00.002+12:00

Ah the fun times we have had in Sydney. This should be the bit when I tell you all that I'm actually a man (above). Joking.

Lè passport has arrived. Joy and relief.

Good news for Labour in New Zealand. I too shall be walking with a spring in my step. Bonne chance! (Whatever that means)

Never thinking about tommorow.

2008-08-24T20:47:00.002+12:00

I've been asked to write a post but today is Sunday which meant two days ago; the weekend started and tomorrow is Monday. One word to describe today: bleak.

But not as bleak as the weather back home. Rumor has it that Auckland hasn't had a dry weekend since May. Someone tell me this is not so. Looks like the rest of the week is not looking that fine either.

Okay this is just all small talk. I miss home.

p.s: Infatuated with Cactus Kate at the moment. God I love her!

Nice suit... Do you want to come home with me?

2008-08-24T20:08:00.004+12:00

Stressful days. Passport being unreachable due to a large bureaucratic, government organisation. However, this still didn't deter me from having a good weekend. Probably one of the best Saturday nights in a long time. And I'm not beating myself up about sending my passport through the post. (Never, ever, do this in a foreign country) I've been miss sensible two shoes in this country (ish) and have stuffed up, but am reminded that I'm only human. And what is the point in staying home all weekend, staring at the letterbox waiting for - literally - my passport out of here.

Ever the optimist...

I ticked all the boxes last night.

Crazy we-think-we're-gorgeous dancing? Yes. (And yes we are!)
Told by a stranger that he loves me? Yes.
Waking up in an unfamiliar house in Glebe? (No, didn't go home with that stranger) Tick.
Walking past cheery early rises on their morning walk? Yes. Moooooortifying.
Great, great DJs... Yes.
Bleakest hangover ever? YESS.

So bleak. Sundays really are the worst when you're not at home. You know those Telecom ads where people get in touch with one another? It's so like that in real life. And when a friend calls, you run out of things to say, because you live such a separate life now. I thought travelling was good for the soul, not emotionally wrenching. Sour with the sweet.

I think I'm in love with Acdc. It's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

I miss miss miss home. More than ever, because I'm supposed to be there now. I hope home misses me too.

P.S. Great quote from Cactus Kate: "Fuck being boring when you can afford not to be." Might mean a different thing to me but I dig it.

Monday is List Day

2008-08-18T17:46:00.004+12:00

Before you escape across the ditch there are a few things in the disclaimer that you need to be aware of. Some people say that Sydney is better than Auckland but it really is a matter of personal preferences. The following is a list of things that I will not miss about Australia.

Recruitment consultants

They are, essentially, people with little qualifications and too much power. They will be full of exaggerated promises of high pay, assurances that they want the best job for you; not just to fill a position. In Sydney most recruitment companies automatically get about forty percent of your pay - all for a very un-in depth hour interview and the fact that they process your salary and tax. Do not piss them off. Always remember that there is so much they don't tell you. The consultant I found is actually really good, in the fact that she has so many clients (at least 5 due to my referrals) and can find a job for you within hours. At one stage our whole flat was using this consultant. This was useful when the house 'flooded' and only one person had to call in sick. This was not so good when we had a particularly hard Tuesday night, resulting in not everyone telling her they wouldn't be in, leaving me to cop the explanations. And I have never been a good liar.

Roads

There is something about the roads here. Crossings are few and far between and gaps between traffic are rare. It has taken me a full ten minutes of waiting just to cross the road to my flat. And you can't stand between lanes. The cars whizz by so fast that you undo all the good blood pressure from eating extra virgin olive oil for several years.

Oxford Street

I have a love/hate relationship with Oxford Street. It is like tequila: fun but messy. I have been dragged there many times because of my propensity to attract good looking homosexual guys as friends. In some ways, Oxford Street is more misogynistic than going out to straight bars. Females are far more likely to get rejected for being 'drunk' and they certainly don't get served first at the bar. And I am not used to either.

Sheer magnanimity

This country is effing HUGE. I look out my window at work and see a stretch of land that never ends. It is less green than New Zealand and uncomfortably unfamiliar. This makes workloads bigger too, especially when dealing with statistics. It's just so much bigger here.

More places to see, more places to go

Ths can be good and bad. Every weekend there is a new bar to go to, a new landmark and a new activity. It gets better with time, but when you first arrive it's like being the new kid at school and not having a map to the playground.

Weirdos

As a matter of fact, Australia has recently closed a few of it's mental hospitals. As a result of this there a more people with mental illnesses in jail, or integrated into society. You can actually tell the difference when observing your experiences of people. But I could just be massively quick to judge so I'm not sure about this one. Andrew Fraser, famous convicted criminal lawyer, agrees with this and writes of his experiences in jail. Good read.

Watch your bag

Remember those stories you were told in school of the first Australian settlers? They were convicts. My phone has been stolen three times in six months (And let's not mention friends who have had things stolen) which makes me drawn to believe that this is a land of thieves. Don't forget what happened to Russell Crowe and Pavlova.

Note: The last two accounts are too presumptuous to be fully serious.

Sheep jokes

How many Kiwis does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they were too busy

..... doing something else.

Conversations where everyone ends their sentences with a question?

But for some reason, when an Australian guy says the word 'here' or 'engineer' I just go weak at the knees. It is so hot.

Banks

Setting up a bank account is reserved only for people who have an address, and to enforce this your card is sent out in the mail. Several days later your pin number is sent out. Gee, why not write the pin number on the card. Banks also open at 9.30 am, only on weekdays. Frustration.

Being chucked in the deep end at work

To save money on paying staff to train staff, they test drive temps with vindictive pleasure until they find the right one. Thank God I am popular with my colleagues.

Cost of living in Sydney

-Exponential.

Anti-Terrorism Propaganda

Posters everywhere urging you to report suspicious activity. Cops with guns. Hi-tech security outside shopping malls. Puts me on edge. I went to this expo for work once and the rules were so strict - we all had to wear these funny vests. Not pleased. Boss not pleased either.

Lack of friendly faces

This is a dangerous city. Without sounding like my Mum, you really can't walk home alone at night. People are more apprehensive about talking to strangers and this is probably a good thing. I like to chat to people though and I haven't been able to do much of it here, without suspecting that they are just strange men hitting on me.

I miss home. Only three more days till home...

Blonde Moments

2008-08-18T12:33:00.004+12:00

FYE - For your entertainment.

Like the fairy tale character, Little Red Riding Hood can display shocking moments of blondeness. I've never got as far as inside the wolf's stomach though and I think this is where we differ.

1. I was on a plane to London for the first time, having a conversation about the difference between Britain and England. Mistakenly I let out the fact that I thought the UK and Britain were the same thing.

2. Starting a new job in Sydney, the person 'training' (I use that word in it's loosest term) me kept going on about some acronym, EA. (Executive Assistant) I was going to ask her what an EA was, but some higher sense kept my mouth shut. I was an EA. I hate acronyms.

3. I still don't really know the difference between the words 'bringing' and 'taking' used in a sentence. And I don't care.

4. No matter how many times I drive through it, I always get lost when driving back to the city from South Auckland.

5. Walking into a glass revolving door on Friday night, in front of a male I was trying to impress.

6. In Parliament, never ask official-looking people if they work for Parliamentary Services. How am I supposed to recognise all 120 MPs..?

7. Walking into the CEO's office at work thinking that it's my bosses' office as they are right next door to each other and look identical.

In younger days...

8. Thinking that a ferry was a fairy; understandably I was very excited about my first trip on one.

9. Getting everyone in my class to sign a 'politician' (petition) against the teacher for keeping everyone in during morning tea every day.

10. Feeding little sister parsley (her first solid food) at six weeks old because I was told it was good for you.

We're back

2008-08-18T11:09:00.002+12:00

Red Confectionery is a-changing. An election is looming in Kiwiland and we can't be complacent. We have to "raise standards," and "bring up the tone." And post more.

In my attempted revamp I accidentally got rid of well, everything, making this site look a bit lacking.

So, three things:

1. Little Red Riding Hood is not one but several people (which could be metaphorical or physical, you decide).
2. I have a great template in mind, Andrew Falloon where are you? Please leave comment with your email. We will return the favour in a non-sexual way.
3. I've forgotten what the third thing is. Monday morning. Too difficult. Jealous that New Zealand is two hours in front of Sydney, and therefore have two hours less left of their Monday. Now I remember what I was going to say: Booty Luv "Some kinda rush" is still in my head. From Friday night. Ugh.

Not so frivolous objections

2008-08-14T13:03:00.002+12:00

As National’s true agenda comes out one can’t help but feel a little disdain for their so-called commitments to carbon trading and renewable energy investment. Surprise, no, disdain, yes. Not when they are pledging to spend $25 million on oil and gas exploration over the next three years. Oh, and overturn the ban on building new gas power stations. In this day and age? Oil is running out. Overwhelming scientific consensus says that the earth is heating up from anthropogenic carbon emissions. To say that National’s inability to think long-term is worrying is an understatement. I think I may actually get ulcers in my stomach from this…

No wonder Nandor quit politics; it’s hard enough to get Labour to take positive moves for the environment, and ultimately, for the rest of us. Thinking of extending my OE until Labour gets elected again.

Anyway, cynical greenie rant over. That includes the last one on the public sector as well– I’m withholding judgment on the issue, need more experience.

Does anyone else think this Chris Barton holds a certain hotness?

Public sector stories

2008-08-12T19:25:00.003+12:00

Occasionally my very powerful bosses have meetings with the all-powerful and ever-elusive MPs that apparently run the show.

I was rather taken aback when I saw *the* state Minister for Health. The Hon Reba Meagher is an attractive 41 year old female - much below the age of most of the executives in the Public Health Sector. This is great - she is young, female and holds a very senior position in government. Rare.

What I don't get is why I find this disconcerting. I look up the Hon Nicola Roxon, Federal Health Minister, and find that she is the same age and level of attractiveness (depending on whether you prefer blondes or brunettes).

Yeah, like I said, I don’t know exactly why I find it disconcerting. Could it be because neither MP has a medical background? Or the fact that they’re obviously career politicians? Am I prejudiced against young females. (no)

In this web that is the public health system, I’m trying to figure out who really runs the show. Politicians, public servants, or doctors, nurses, ambos and the like.

Sure, so politicians get to decide how much money goes where. But public servants have a lot more discretion in how it is spent, who gets hired, and the precise nature of how things are run. Medical practitioners get the benefit of (supposedly) being listened to because of their frontline knowledge, plus the fulfilment that comes with administering care to patients and making them healthier people… blah blah. At the end of the day the Minister of Health has the power to sack the Director-General, but it can’t be done without grounds.

So why go into politics, apart from the obvious ego boost? In the public sector you can get paid just as much as the base salary for an MP (and more), you can fuel your interest in politics, you don’t have to stick photos of your gob up around the city every few years, you wouldn’t have to deal with endless phone calls from whinging, bigoted, misinformed constituents, and the newspapers wouldn’t care if you had a few drinks at the fashionable Ivy now and then. You wouldn’t be criticised for having no children (a personal decision which I find profoundly rude to comment on), you wouldn’t be accused of being a lesbian if you were a powerful woman. You could still make a difference in the job that you do, without the stress of the intense schedule of a profession that is severely underpaid for the hours that it demands.

The quality of work performed in a minister’s portfolio has almost nothing to do with how the minister performs; but how well their respective departments/ministries are run. Fact. There just isn’t much that they can do, and even if they did manage to revamp what is essentially a giant, giant company, their hard work wouldn’t be seen by the public. When an MP seeks leave to table something in Parliament during question time it is up to the meek civil servants to run around like headless chickens to find the figures. I have been in the midst of this and it makes for a fun afternoon.

With the media factoring heavily on how governments communicate these days, too much has come to depend on how things appear, rather than how they actually are.

I think what I am trying to say with this post is that I find it hard to take these two ministers seriously when I have worked for their portfolio and seen the bigger machine that is at work. And it is rather eye-opening.

More inadvertent quotes from National

2008-08-08T17:30:00.002+12:00

Nitwit Nick Smith from National was quoted two years ago as saying that New Zealand should pull out of Kyoto.

I wonder if he would say the same now that Global Warming is a fashionable bandwagon. (So much that it almost puts me off)

A hidden agenda? An indication of what National would really do (because come on, we really want to know) if elected to lead the Government?

I think YES.

Lessons learned in the workplace

2008-08-07T21:26:00.005+12:00

As many people know, on Wednesday nights I often revert to a de-stressing, more commonly known as mid-week tipples. I was a bit upset last night. Offended. We headed off to our local at around 9pm and proceeded to buy a drink. The barman (not the usual friendly has-a-crush-on-me one, I noted) would not serve us. It seems last week’s salt and pepper shaker stealing was not taken well. Note that it wasn’t me who did this, but a flatmate who moved to France on Tuesday.

Shock and shame reverberated through my system. People my age, sorry, my maturity level do not not get served in pubs. So, we went home and without further ado proceeded to drink the chardonnay in the fridge. Depression from being denied entry. After about 3 hours of talking crap I traipsed up to bed. Hence the reason why I’m tired, irritable and in possession of negative attention span.

Combined with the fact that I have the freedom of my own office (one thing they do not do to most people my age), this does not bode well at work.

Anyway, one of my tasks today (and I only did it because I love paramedics…uniforms….drool) was to locate hospitals with ED departments along a map route. Harder than it sounds. In a big organisation it can sometimes be damned near impossible to find the simplest things. And even harder to find competent people. At times I have groaned with frustration at the systems in place that make getting anything done very slow. And the bigger the department, the cloudier the water. I’m not talking about red tape, I’m talking about bad management at a local level, high staff turnover and lack of skills being passed on, inability to juggle the wider picture with small details, communication ineptness and all round INCOMPETENCE.

I'm not saying I work in a place like this but I have seen a bit here. And I can bag it because it's Australia, not New Zealand.

It is rampant everywhere. Some people are incompetent by choice, and some by nature. And some of them are actually smart enough to display much of the following:

1. They mask their incompetence by refusing to accept responsibility for any of their considerable mistakes – blaming them instead on temps, admin assistants, kiwis, and the young nice and vulnerable.
2. They carry themselves about with aplomb and a veneer of busy-ness and fluster, in order to delegate their more menial and mind-numbing tasks to you.
3. They are masters of subtle patronising, so that you always feel inadequate and incompetent around them. (And then leave their office feeling confused)
4. For some reason they have a close relationship with someone in charge, so that you have to endure your boss go on and on and on about how able this employee is. (You leave your bosses' office feeling even more baffled)
5. They are slow at responding to requests and they never seem to get anything done (especially if you're the one who asked for it).
6. In order to bitch their way up the work food-chain, they go mental when you make a tiny mistake. This once involved the ticking of a post-it (one that was a note to myself), when in fact it should have been half a tick. Long tedious story.
7. If someone is nasty to them like they deserve, they slowly start to slime the person off behind their back, and try to get you to do it too.
8. They are often late and take long, leisurely lunch breaks.

All this is done discreetly, though blindingly obvious if you observe for five minutes. Admittedly I only fully realised this with the benefit of hindsight.

These people are a pain in the friggin arse. I know that in the long run if I grit my teeth sometimes and take it up the ass from whoever pays my salary I'll be rewarded, as would anyone with a good bullshit threshold.

As for dealing with these characters, I think it's best to assert yourself early. Ignore the unsubstantiated side comments (be unaware: "sorry, did you just insult me/Sharon/Lorraine?") and just get the hell on with it. If you're so inclined, one day you'll be in charge (because complete idiots rarely become directors) and you can hire whoever the fuck you want.

Which could be a lot less with the right people. For these reasons I can understand why politicians like Phil Goff tend to do all their staff's work for them. The most able and noted directors I know rarely need a calendar; they prioritise and complete things without checklists and are bloody brilliant at it.

Fascinating thing, the workplace. Hell of a lot better than studying when in the right job.

Before you know it...

2008-07-15T17:27:00.002+12:00

It is time. Time for a blog post. While I sit in my office typing up minutes, I think, why not type a post up instead. (Typing, any typing, gives the pretence of work) NB: I do work, very hard, but get through this stuff twice as fast as most people so am left with some to kill.

The end of my trip to Sydney is nigh. I suppose the obvious question would be – is the grass really greener on the other side? Not greener, just a different colour. If you like high wages, queues (this includes bizarrely inconvenient bureaucracy queues), bad employment laws (how can I say ‘bad’ when there isn’t many to begin with), an off-the-Richter scale night life and a horizon that seems to stretch onto infinity, then this is the place for you. But if you like beaches, good food and wine, very ‘localised’ political processes, nice people and a sense of belonging, then New Zealand is your place. But then it would be because you’re probably from there.

I can’t really describe the sense of disconnectedness I’ve felt because I’m used to it now. Six months is just long enough to get settled in – soon I will be disorientated again.

Our group of friends here are primarily British, and we have moved into a main street in central Sydney. The traffic outside my window has even stopped messing with my chi – in fact, I don’t think I could get to sleep without the constant sound of angry car engines. We have had parties, seen obscure places with strange names on the train line, and become close to our new friends in a scarily speedy process, probably knowing each other better than most of our friends back home do.

The flora and fauna are peculiar, some fantastic. There is a strange creature that wanders around – it may come from the same breed as “Male wearing board shorts and fluoro” but we’re not certain. This creature is good for dancing, snogging and poking fun of it’s accent. (Hint: sit in a train and tell them to read out all the Aboriginal place names – makes any long journey pass quickly) Bats are rampant, lizards hang around sunny patches of concrete (that’s right – I have kept away from the bush), and larger than average birds make war cries in the afternoon. Live and let live, I say.

TV shows are not even worth mentioning – except for that inexplicably addictive animal show by David Attenborough which we all seem to congregate together to watch. You’d think it would be awkward watching live mating seasons with your flatmates, but it’s not. Advertisements are punctured regularly with anti smoking ads, followed regularly by a trip to the front room for a smoke.

Another hint for Sydney tourists – ever wonder why Aussies never seem to swim at Bondi? There is a direct line of sewerage flow about 1km offshore – watch out.

It is a great life, one that I will be very sad to say goodbye to. I will never forget my time in Australia.

But on to more exciting things, I am seeing the Pope this weekend, and one month from now I will be in a train from Shanghai to Beijing, Volleyball Olympic tickets in hand. Then London and France, then settling down in Bath or Islington for another stint at working somewhere that isn’t quite home.

xx L

Tribute to Nandor

2008-06-27T13:58:00.002+12:00

A sad day for New Zealand politics. Below is what I believe to be a very accurate and honest portrayal of life in Parliament.

I will always remember the times I have met Nandor. He has time for just about everyone, and remembers them all too.

His integrity and strong value system are rare for someone with his job, and rare for a person in general.

Among young people he has been the face of the Green Party, and has made politics real for us. Even, dare I say it, fashionable.

I doubt that he will disappear from the scene and hope to hear of his work in the future.

Peace brother!!

(plagiarised from the New Zealand Herald)

"Nandor Tanczos left Parliament yesterday, saying he was going away to cleanse his soul and wouldn't need to know the time any more.
So he took out a hammer and pounded his watch to pieces.
The Green Party MP came to Parliament with a bang in 1999, a dreadlocked Rastafarian who admitted smoking dope and campaigned for it to be legalised.
He said in his valedictory speech that being an MP had changed his life.
"I came to Parliament thinking you're all a bunch of bastards," he told his colleagues.
"And I was wrong. There are many good people here. The very notion that all politicians are dishonest is misconceived."
Mr Tanczos said he believed most MPs came to Parliament with honest intentions, but many were compromised by it.
"How many times have Green MPs spoken in this House and had other MPs sidle over and tell us quietly, 'We agree with you'?" he said.
"The danger is the system changes us as much as we change the system, if not more.
"And that's why I'm leaving. The problem isn't how many people enter this place with honest intentions, but how many leave with them intact."
Mr Tanczos revealed he had avoided question time whenever he could.
"It's a time when I'm most ashamed of being a member of Parliament," he said.
"You all know what I'm talking about."
That was a reference to the abusive shouting and bad behaviour that go on during question time.
"We should grow up," he said.
"This is our national legislature. We should treat it and the positions we hold with more respect."
Mr Tanczos said the media carried blame as well.
"The buzzards who sit watching us up there, waiting for the next political corpse to pick over ... They will always report a fight, but stand to talk about anything real and most of them flap their wings and fly away."
He said the first thing he did when he came to Parliament was buy a watch, and he had been "cuffed to the prison bars of time" ever since.
"So today I remove that shackle, because when I look at the state of our rivers, our atmosphere and our people I don't need a watch to tell me what time it is."
And with that he left the debating chamber, walking over the shattered remains of his time piece."

The 'flying' orange

2008-05-01T21:45:00.007+12:00

Below are some pictures from our going away party. I was later informed that the orange actually ended up hitting a fellow blogger. Any guesses who it was?
Hmmm, what shall we do with the orange?

On a mission with the orange. Not at the westies.

Somewhere beyond the smoke, the orange fell on a target.
I thought this was hilarious for some reason.

The Best and the Worst....

2008-05-01T18:45:00.002+12:00

Our time in Sydney is near its halfway way mark - the perfect time for reflection and prospective planning. Three months ago, with our rose colored glasses, unpreparedness, overzealous excitement, a stash of splendid farewell memories, and with the wise saying of the Great Explorer himself Christopher Columbus - "You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” We set sail and began our lives as temporary itinerants with Sydney being our first base.

Since then we've sprained ankles, laughed until we cried, gone on dates, shopped until we dropped, had confrontations with Irish girls, slept in bad hostels, hunted around for New Zealand wine and much more. So for reflective and work procrastination purposes, here is a list of our best and worst of Sydney.

The Worst (in no particular order):

1. The four flights of stairs in Boomerang Hostel - potential disaster zone when carrying heavy luggage.
2. Banking - opening hours and new account application processes; 5 working day waiting period for card and then on top of that another 3 working day period for pin to arrive and activated.
3. The Gaff - Sweaty, Drunken Sleaze
4. Bad taxi drivers - if you think Auckland is bad, come to Sydney. 1st incident - Denied taxi for hospital just because taxi driver couldn't be bothered detouring to hospital via his way back to the taxi base. 2nd incident- Taxi driver tries to attempt a kiss and grab. (Shudders)
5. Home base Backpackers - TRAVELLERS BEWARE! - I could write a whole blog about this horrible place. Only good thing is we have met some great people there.
6. Lack of public garbage cans
7. Ridiculous entry fees for most clubs that just play standard non spectacular club music. I don't mind paying entry fees if its worth it.
8. Aggressive Irish girls
9. Office Politics
10. Movie Cinemas - airport line type barriers and no info posts about movies showing.

The Best (in no particular order)

1. The Beaches - no doubt about that!
2. Eating in Chinatown
3. The colours, sounds and vibrations of the fruit and vegie section at Paddy's market
4. New friends
5. Having money to actually save
6. Shopping !!
7. The epiphany moment of realising that you're not living in New Zealand anymore
8. Particular nights out.
9. Transport System
10. Intellectual conversation with hot Americans

And you’ll find out tonight oh it’s a world of extreme

2008-04-16T22:42:00.003+12:00

Blogging has been inspirationless. Fingers touch the keypad but all that comes out of alt tab flick backs between gmail, facebook and red confectionery is ........................complete..............fuck..............all.
One would think that two months of being abroad would have conjured something worthy to write. Lets face it, blogging must been inspirationless if the only blogpost in the past two months i've written is focussed on how blogging is extremely dull.

I miss home. Yes already. Though am not ready to come back. Not even for a short visit. I seriously don't know how kiwigirl does it. The thing i miss the most is having friends on call whenever for whatever reason.

K that is it for now. Salmonella Dub tommorow.
Im sure there will be more interesting blogs soon.

x

p.s: promise

Mildly Frightening Adventures

2008-04-14T20:57:00.002+12:00

I am sitting at an internet cafe, a regular haunt, and am starting to become a bit paranoid.

They are right outside our front door, and I have been coming here everyday for a month.

At first we thought the guys that work here were funny. They sit behind their desk, so low so only their eyes peer above the counter. It is peculiar.

While we're paying they don't actually speak - they grunt and nod, and sometimes they're not even there at all...

A funny place.

I just went up to the counter and discovered to my horror that the owner was writing up a spam email. You know, the ones that start off with:

"Dear SIR

I have great business opportunity for you please consider investing in zebra banking we offer interest free loan just pay fee of $50 into our bank account at zebra bank

...That kind of crap.

And they are always on the phone - I always got the impression they ran some kind of business.

I am a little weary about the information they might have access to, preying on innocent tourists that leave their accounts logged in... Getting access to their blood type, home address, bra size, personal information, etcetera, etcetera.

It's not as scary as Wolf Creek, and I am definitely avoiding the outback, but it is a bit thrilling.

Such badasses on this patch of the globe.

xx L

Suggestion

2008-03-06T22:21:00.002+13:00

Mmm it seems that the newness of Sydney is beginning to diminish and now little things are being to peeve us off.
One is the annoyance of having to carry our disposal coffee cups, wrappers and alike with us until we arrive back to the hostel.

Our Suggestion - Get more fuckin Rubbish bins. One bin per kilometre in the central CBD is not enough!!

On ya, Labour!

2008-02-24T20:38:00.004+13:00

In an attempt to provide an unbiased approach to reporting, the Herald today has cut some slack to Labour.

The spokesperson for Labour makes a seriously good point:
"The National Party hasn't released any policy but has instead been saying different things to different groups. This will catch up with them when they eventually say what their programme is."

The positive poll results for National are largely a product of Key's sweet talking and I'm surprised, given the National Party's track record, that people fall so easily into that trap of believing leftie promises from evil right wing politicians. Political marketing theories also say that a sales (empty promises) based approach to vote grabbing is not effective in the long term. So even if National do get elected this year, can you actually imagine it lasting longer than one term?

Okay so I'm not very eloquent today, and I shouldn't call people 'evil' as it's not very nice. But I am going a little mad here. I miss intelligent conversation. No one in Sydney seems to do it, bar the guys that try to get into my pants. And sooner or later, they stop talking because I can totally out talk them on anything intelligent. So far. And it is so offputting, and transparent!

I can see why so many New Zealand travelling bloggers need to blog on this kind of stuff. Today Pearl and I had to secretly watch the news in the lounge. And when we strike up the occasional insightful comment: Eg. "Haha, that was just like such and such in the eighties."

We are given blank, unknowing stares. Sigh.

So how about that Britney?

Above is an example of what Sydney has to offer.

xx L

Starting anew,

2008-02-21T23:36:00.005+13:00

I always knew leaving N.Z was never going to be easy. In fact it was going to be hard. Stressful nights, points of starvation, crap hostels, no proper toilet facilities ; all you expect in a third world country except this is Australia - which makes the the situation seem ten times worse. Admittingly I am exaggerating, it really isn't that bad. Yes we have experienced the shite hostel with a bathroom that represented the camping grounds shower facilities you visited, in your Year 9 camp: concrete steel with rust coming through the edges with no water pressure coming at the heat spectrum of freezing cold to mild lukewarm.
In the unnamed hostel located in Kings Cross, one must walk four flights of stairs to access their dorm room - no lifts. Walking four flights of stairs is fine, that is if you have no luggage. Carrying luggage down is worse; the whole mathematics and physics of establishing and balancing luggage weight distribution plus taking steps down plus height can equal potential disaster as experienced last Sunday resulting in a badly sprained ankle, new accommodation and the discover of more perks that New Zealanders are entitled to here : Free Hospital Care.
Before leaving New Zealand, many advised us to move to Melbourne or even Brisbane and to watch out for those Aussies. Sydney apparently had no culture and that Melbourne and Brisbane is better. To them I say Bah humbug. Sydney is a fucking fabulous city. It is brimming with life, overflowing with galoshes of colors, melodies and best of all, people from all walks of life. It is also a great city to walk in - architecturally, flora and fauna, people watching wise. I do have one thing to say about the Public Transport system - Efficiency.
Trains run regularly, on time and until late. Taxis are galore and seem to be reasonably priced and the bus drivers are friendly, courteous and are always willing to help. Something that perhaps Auckland bus drivers could learn.
The current hostel we are now staying is very central and definite improvement from the Kings Cross unnamed one. It is filled with Brits, Germans, Europeans and few Asians. It has a massive deck where a regular few congregate everyday to eat, drink, smoke and be merry. Life isn't that much different from New Zealand. Everyone is very sociable, much more than the previous hostel. Even the managers/staff get into the groove of things. One could say that every night is a tipple night. Thursdays is wine and cheese night though more wine is consumed. Friday night was supposedly a trip to Bondi Beach for drunken antics all canceled by the previous night antics.
It would be wrong of me to finish my first posting about Sydney and not mention the male counterparts. The hostel lifestyle naturally places you in a position of being exposed to other travellers. It also exposes you to the world that is perhaps Tara Reid travel show inspired, i.e: Am abroad, lets fuck anything with two legs. The best place to start this, is always the infamous, popular Travelers Bar where free Alcohol is served between the hour of 9.30pm to 10.30pm most night if not every night. A poorly ventilated basement filled with sweaty drunken ruled by their dicks guys who hit on any girl that gives them eye contact. Eye contact being anything from 0.5 second glance to a looking through them while you are trying to spot your friend. Not all are like this. Most are relaxed , sociable, act appropriately and pretty good looking. And the Aussie male, why oh why did I not make more trips earlier before. Most Aussie males I have encountered are hot. There is something about the weather here - it does people justice plus the Aussie male possess a sense of old fashioned chivalry which unfortunately from experience many Kiwi males seem to have lost or is well hidden.
One Aussie male stopped and paid a taxi for me when he saw me limping home from town in the day, no questions asked and no hidden agendas of getting numbers etc etc. Just old fashioned chivalry. This is common in Australia. Learn New Zealand, learn - old fashioned chivalry is hot.

p.s : hope all is well in New Zealand.

You and Me...

2008-02-14T11:32:00.003+13:00

Not much to say except that Woop Woop on the Weather today. Running through the Domain may actually be Do-able today. Hopefully all the lovesick puppies out there will remain indoors for the public good. Today is last day in N.Z - exciting times ahead.

Mmm here is some sweet Valentine loving:

The Delightful Swooner Eddie Cochrane (see below)

National to Lose Rich

2008-02-13T10:26:00.000+13:00

Katherine Rich has announced she will be standing down at the next election to spend more time with her children.

This is a sad loss, I personally like Katherine and hold alot of similar values and political views as she does. She was certainly a great assest to the National Party and no doubts will be missed. Her ability to easily relate to people and seemed to understand the views of many New Zealanders on issues especially relating to education, social welfare and health.

With Katherine's departure Anne Tolley gets the education portfolio, which means she hands down her chief whip position to Nathan Guy and in turn Napier MP Chris Tremain will become the junior whip.

I like to take the scenic route.

2008-02-08T21:05:00.000+13:00

I fucking love my Train wrecks. The bedroom floor is now covered with once thought Ghastly but now guilty pleasure magazines such as Cosmopolitan, NW, Cleo and whats the other one called. My regular favorite magazines such as Newscientist, Economist, National Geographic and Times are still around though indiscreetly swept under the train wreck montage.
Call me shallow, call me superficial but I really don't want to read or actually give a toss about some celebrity trying to raise awareness about any environmental, political, social or economic injustices through the adoption of some poor third world kid. No give me excerpts about Britney once again failing to go to court, another picture of Lohan in rehab, Winehouse telling the paparazzi to get f#$ked ' i dont need to go to rehab'.
Give me trash. Give me train wrecks! and you will soon find a long time subscriber.

Life

2008-02-08T10:23:00.000+13:00

So I have finished all my politics papers for my BA, and I should have finished by BA today but because for Wellington Teacher's College I have to have a second teaching subject this has meant I am now minoring in English and also had to do this over summer. I have a semester left with 2 200 level ENGL papers and one 300 Level HIST paper -I can't wait to finish I am SO getting over studying. And everyone is telling me off because I declined my offer to do honours.

Also am looking at flats with my bf which is scary and exciting at the same time and makes me feel very grown up, especially as it means we will be purchasing appliance and furniture together. I really want a place that allows animals so I can have a puppy - although the big dogs I really want ie Newfoudlands and Bernese Mountain Dogs will have to wait until I can actually afford to feed them as it will probably cost more than feeding me.

Am enjoying watching the lead up to the American elections and the way things are looking NZ with certain people making silly swipes at other people (I think we all know exactly who I mean) and must say not entirely suprised that Labour booted Benson-Pope out, although am confused as to why they kept Russell Fairbrother in Napier instead of putting in Nash.

Looking forward to the year and am already committed to a certain regions election team, and I have no doubts we will keep it blue, and keep the area prospering under an MP who actually does things for and in the community.

Thats sort of a general wrap of where I am at. Whilst some of the team depart the shores for the greatest country in the world, I will remain in NZ and plod through my rather dull life, that every so often gets a dash of excitement

We put our pictures where they had to go

2008-02-06T10:43:00.000+13:00

I'm in serious procrastination mode. Have about a million things I should and probably seriously need to do before flying off and I'm thinking about reconstructing Red Confectionery. No offense to the other Confectioners and veterans but the layout needs to be changed. I should warn you too - Contributers are going to be cut down dramatically. Dont fret your favorite confectioners are not leaving.
Three things I'm loving at the moment - Daft Punk "Digital Love", Kimonos and the very fact that Sydney is only 8 days away!!.

Gong Xi Fa Cai for tommorow everyone!

x

Happy exhaustedness

2008-02-03T22:14:00.000+13:00

There are times in my life when I wonder, is it normal to feel this happy?

Last night was one of those. Thank you to everyone that attended the farewell party, it was fucking brilliant.

(Noise control made us turn it down at 10.15 but it didn't stop the party, oh no.)

I'm going to miss New Zealand so much!

xx L

"You better be home soon"

2008-02-03T21:55:00.000+13:00

It has finally sunken in. I think the next time I hear that Crowded House Song "You better be home soon" - Tears are going to be rolling down the cheek and will probably feel the strong urge to write letters...no wait fuck that - an email.

Our farewell party was blimin top notch!. Over 100 people came through the night, Music was turned to stand by the speaker audible volume sometime after 10 thanks to Noise Control - Not that it ruined anyone's night.

Am so going to miss N.Z - friends and family definitely not my driveway, Viaduct, fish and chips, Out of Towners, Gilda Fitzpatrick, Marc Ellis, the word bugger, bush walks and more.

I am looking forward to all the adventures Lulu and I are going to encounter soon. I couldn't have a better person in this world to travel with!.

Party time!

2008-01-31T09:07:00.000+13:00

Essentials for throwing a good party:

A function on your cellphone that lets you send multiple messages.
Facebook event planners.
A flatmate that works at Lion Breweries (does anyone else have a problem pronouncing brewery? I do...).
Large quantities of beer.
A few hundred sausages for the BBQ.
Potato salad.
Plastic plates, cups, etc.
Chairs, backyard.
A dealer to sort your friends out.
Non-scratched mix CDs. (No Spice girls or rap, they will get turned off and destroyed)
An impressive stereo.
Letters to the neighbors.
A party dress that you haven't appeared in public in before, and heels that don't get stuck in the lawn.

Have I forgotten anything? I fear that I have...

Third-term-itis

2008-01-30T15:07:00.000+13:00

So. Every time I ask a John Key supporter why they are voting National next election, I am left confunded with the answer:

"It's time for a change."

When questioned they inevitably say something along the lines of:

"Well, Helen's done her run, you know, it's good to chuck out governments every few years."

No it is not. Imagine, how much money and time is wasted going back and forth with budgets and legislation in two somewhat polar moral directions. Changing student loan entitlements every few terms, for example. Yes, society changes and laws need to change to accomodate the growing population, etc, but it is such a downer to realise that not-so-long-ago there were no student loans. I think what I'm trying to say with this example is that it creates a lack of faith in the system, when the system is changing all the time, and is a bitch to understand.

After a while, people start to forget altogether what it is the government does, they become bad at filling in forms and even worse at understanding the news, and they forget what previous administrations have done. Come election time people say things like,

"Oh, let's vote National shall we, get rid of that NCEA thing." (Erm, National introduced NCEA)

There are myriads of examples of political ignorance; which I'm sure have been witnessed, rather than demonstrated, by the type of people that read this.

People like myself, for example, who didn't know a thing about politics until the year 2000, if that. I can't remember what a National-led government was like, because I was only 12 years old the last time such a ghastly thing happened. (Young people are in grave danger of being succeptible to Key)

People also get sick of seeing the same old broken veined politicians on TV, and even though they do a decent job, they inevitably get older and uglier and more weary looking, so the solution seems to be: vote for a different party.

The politicians in power eventually grow more arrogant and out of touch with the public. In the worst cases, they become corrupt and cynical.

These phenomenons are all symptoms of Third-Term-Itis and the result means a change of government for New Zealand. But not necessarily for the best reasons.

Wouldn't it be more effective to have a renewal of cabinet, and change party leaders more often? I guess the problem with politics is that most politicians don't know when it's time to step down. It's human nature. And I think the media has had a definite part to play in all this; always targeting politicians with an "us versus them" kind of mentality and showing a preference for news that is entertainment rather than information based. Nevertheless, voter turnout and political awareness has gone down, and cynicism has gone up. (Although I don't know where I can find figures for that)

And the idea that it's "time for a change" is merely a catch phrase - in New Zealand's case anyway.

Why change the government when unemployment is at its lowest in 28 years, we are ranked as having the 5th highest standard of living in the world, crime is down, and the economy is growing?

Things are not perfect, but they are a damn sight better than they used to be since around the mid-90's, at least according to the MSD's latest social report.

It's okay to say that it's time for a change if the government has done a lousy job - but in all fairness I think even an (intelligent) National supporter could agree that it hasn't been a complete disaster - the latest social report, regardless of the fact that it was written by the government, does have some very positive indicators. And it's not just the report, there are other things. Which would take me hours to write about, like the fact that I can swim in my local beach and know that I won't be getting poisoned any time soon. People from around the world are constantly telling me that we don't know what we have here, my own cousin got back from the UK yesterday and said that there is almost nowhere in the world as clean and safe as New Zealand.

Emotional language, but I think I've made my point.

I think it's about time that people start having good reasons for voting National.

"To Bridget - Just the way you are"

2008-01-29T22:07:00.000+13:00

As some of you know, the Red Confectionery population is obsessed with the opposite sex. One particular Red Confectioner has limited her blog postings (you know who you are)for..........well details are certainly unnecessary. Hair has been GHDed, frequents visits to the beauty clinic have been arranged, Estee Lauder White Linen perfume 100ml bottle is now near empty, stupid jokes has been laughed at, dresses enhancing our best bits have been bought, and books, articles, Google searches on particular subjects that I for one don't give a toss about have been researched..... ALL in the name of the SAID SPECIMEN - the opposite sex.

The results vary - some of us like the darling Bridget Jones and that main girl off Pride and Prejudice (who i never remember the name of and probably the reason why i should have paid attention in English rather than perving at Mr Martin cute behind; never mind) seem to have found our Mark Darcy, while Others are still playing around with Daniel Cleaver.

Tuesday night viewing highlights has just gone up a whole new level with what could be the hit show of the month of February- "Rock of Love" aired on C4 - Tuesday nights at 9.30pm or 8.30??. Brett Michael's lead singer of that band that sang the infamous song " Every Rose has it's thorns" is looking for that special someone - the girl who will rock his world and oh poor him has 20 women to choose from. Last night 6 women's hearts were crushed and sent home. Brandi C (the annoying one) tho last one to be picked was lucky enough to be saved. Perhaps it was the heartfelt near spiritual nirvana promise she made to Brett Michaels - 3 wives, 4 girlfriends ...or was it the other way around. The girl is annoying and whiny. A soon to be favorite is Tiffany - staggering, slurring, mascara run eyes and one hell of a drunken mess that sure makes Brett Michael quest for love a whole lot more interesting.

Thought for the Day " Is anyone already sick of the shite reminders that Valentines is near?"

See below for more entertainment.

Bad Medicine

2008-01-29T09:42:00.000+13:00

I am in love!

I have spent a long weekend travelling between Wellington and Christchurch and back all for the sake of seeing the one and only Bon Jovi.

The concert was awesome, with a crowd of about 30,000 people all on their feet dancing and singing along it was certainly the best concert I have ever been to. Jon Bon Jovi was fanastic - clad in leather I am sure he must of been melting but he did his butt wiggle and flashed that smile and every girl in the stadium must have gone weak at the knees coz I know I fell in love then.

Whilst in Chch I managed a few touristy things such as dragging the boys to the Cathedral (which I don't think minded) and Ballentynes as well as the Antarctic Centre and up the Gondola before departing yesterday afternoon.

Whilst it was a pleasant night for sailing by tummy did cope at all well I spent the better half of three hours rather ill aboard the ferry in the last hours and wee hours of this morning. Please to say I now safely back on land with no intentions of using the ferry any time in the near future.

Yes we can.

2008-01-28T16:42:00.000+13:00

This is my first blog about something political - well its only the video clip of the second part of Obama's speech. I thought it deserved Red Confectionery's love and respect.
Hattip- Farrar.

The night where we fell in love with the new girl.

2008-01-25T19:11:00.000+13:00

The new girl being - LitaBit

For the love of midweek tipples, viral (blogger) marketing and mostly the absolutely faboulous Kiwigirl being in Auckland - fellow bloggers and DPF trolls gathered together last Weds at the Chapel for drinks.

To be perfectly honest and full credit to foodtown wine sales, I can not recall a significant moments of the night except for few first (blogger drinker) observations:

1. Blogger drinks are all about self promotion.
2. Everyone predrinks before blogger drinks and are usually somewhere near tipsiness at arrival.
3. Farrar is going to be mentioned at some point.
4. Politics is mentioned usually initially by a male.
5. Bloggers and Trolls never look how you pictured them in your mind.
6. Photos are going to be taken (see below).

Love like Winter

2008-01-24T18:04:00.000+13:00

Im kinda mad, annoyed, very very frustrated at MONTY!

Here we have beautiful weather that helps us tan more quickly and rush to the nearest corner shop for lemonade iceblocks and drive to the Beach with the car radio on full blast and all windows down with the sea breeze coming through.

AND what does Monty oh so stubbornly want? via demonstration of threatening to create a potential lets hold up North Shore traffic at 5pm back to Whangaparoa - the FUCKIN Heat turned on and up to full blast.

Too demanding, thank God only three more weeks.

Summertime... When the living's easy

2008-01-24T09:38:00.001+13:00

Everyone is more good looking in the summer. The heat (sometimes) takes away our apetites, leaving us with cave like stomachs. And those of us fortunate enough to tan go a nice healthy nut brown. Sexual encounters are sweaty, slippery (or even underwater) romps. Hair gets highlighted in the sun and at the end of the day when it's time to start sipping the Summer Ale, people are left with a sunkissed, glowing look. Hair straighteners are discarded for beach hair and disappeared freckles return with a vengeance.

It seems like even the media has a cheery tone to it; I haven't seen any grumpy reporting for ages. Summer is the perfect time to fall in love.

And although I've had my fair share of sexy boys over New Years, I can't seem to summon up the enthusiasm to fall hopelessly.

I suspect part of the reason for this is that I already have a huge crush on someone. (Though trying to quelch the inconvenient sensation) Ouch. And moving in three weeks.

I feel like I'm in limbo. An emotional, inconclusive dead end. Help!

xx L

Heath Ledger is Dead!

2008-01-23T11:28:00.000+13:00

Actor Heath Ledger was found dead at 3:35pm (New York Time)in his Manhattan apartment from what appears to be a drug overdose.

Ledger is most commonly known for his role in Brokeback Mountain, and for the likes of me in 10 Things I Hate About You where is starred beside Julia Stiles.

He has a daughter with Michelle Williams (from Dawson's Creek) and the couple had called off their engagement and broke up in August 2007.

you take me to places ive never been before

2008-01-21T17:08:00.000+13:00

This is really nothing to post except to say that was'nt the Mask party great?

Auckland blogger drinks this weds!

Holiday Activities

2008-01-16T13:39:00.000+13:00

We've all suffered from sleepless nights because some fly with ADD has been buzzing around our room, landing on our nose every five minutes. It's excrutiating.

And of course I'm tempted to kill the little fuckers with flyspray, but that means I have to breathe it in myself, which is even more unpleasant. I just find it a bit off putting; I've seen what that stuff can do to insects - what to speak of the cells in my lungs?

There was also a particular New Years in Whangamata, when my girlfriends and I were lured into a tent full of boys for a sesh. I didn't partake in the ganja smoking that night, and about an hour later I was to witness all my friends chundering, as the bud had been sprayed with fly killer, to give it a "kick" or something, I don't know.

So flyspray is one of my less neurotic phobias.

Anyway, over the holidays I've been doing a bit of babysitting.

Forget movies and minigolf. Forget Dora the Explorer and Hannah Montana. Fly hunting is where it's all at. This is what I do: I roll up a copy of the latest New Zealand Herald (some use fly swats, but I prefer the satisfaction of covering bad media with fly guts), I demonstrate how to successfully thwack a fly and the kids follow. They love it, it's good exercise, and great for teaching kids how to concentrate and be quiet.

In fact, you may even find yourselves arguing over who gets to kill the last fly, as we did. Who would've known fly hunting could be such a hit?

AND it's environmentally friendly, although I wouldn't leave the squashed flies lying around if I were you... Everyone should try it this summer.

xx L

Out of Towner Adventures

2008-01-15T10:18:00.000+13:00

I am now back in Auckland after a week long holiday visiting my mother in Nelson.
The weather was lovely, people were friendly and the night life was practically non existent. Lulu requested me to take pictures of "Out of Towners" but for some odd reason they (the out of towners) kept looking at me weirdly or questioning my intentions to photograph them.
Perhaps it was the fact that there was no beautiful scenery nearby but just ordinary street backgrounds or the trolley bay near the entrance of First Choice Supermarket.

I did manage to capture the Out of Towner Dog- See below

Compared to the "bitches" of Remuera (See below) who are usually christened with names of insects (Cricket), food (Honey) and fairytale characters (Tinkerbell). Out of Towner dogs have manly names like Butch and Mutt.

Can you imagine the outcry if Tinkerbell got knocked up by an Out of Towner dog? Scandalous.

Message from a Hard Working Kiwi

2008-01-11T08:48:00.000+13:00

I received this and just had to share it:

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the Governmnet distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay cheque, as I work in the timber industry, I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem in passing.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand - I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.

I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse drinking piss and smoking dope all day.

Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a WINZ cheque?

Something has to change in this country... and soon!

But that trains keeps rolling.

2008-01-08T12:04:00.000+13:00

Nzherald warns Aucklanders to be prepared for heavy rain tonight so with that and while Lulu is contemplating on her absurd affliction with digeridoos, I'm off to Sunny Nelson for a week.

To keep the punters entertained - here is some good old Johnny Cash

Thought for the day

2008-01-07T21:14:00.000+13:00

I'm planning my travel itinerary for Aussie and onwards.

I want to learn about aboriginal culture, I really do - but I have a pathological fear of didgeridoos. Is anyone else afflicted with this condition?

xx L

Another Year, A New Me?

2008-01-06T16:46:00.000+13:00

Another Happy Belated New Year.

How to sum up 2007 is rather tricky, I experienced some of the worst moments of my life and some of the most joyous.

Never in a million years did this time last year I think I would be a member of the National Party, head over heels in love and survive being resuscitated.

I got to meet Diving into the Wreck and spend some amazing times with her and Pamziewamzie in both Wellington and Auckland. These girls are amazing.

I discovered that you have to be careful in who you think are true friends are unfortunately nothing but political allies (now enemies), and strangely it is them I feel the most sorrow for.

I met the man I am most probably going to marry, considering we have our childrens names picked, the type of car we wish to purchase initially and then one later to accommodate the number of said children, where we want to live, how I will be the one more involved more in politics than him and we are curretnly even looking at getting a place together even if it does not happen until end of Trimester One when I will have finished my BA.

I wish everyone the best for 2008 and to the Red Confec girls heading across the ditch I am going to miss you SO much.

XXOO, WG

Best and Worst of 07

2008-01-05T21:41:00.000+13:00

Happy belated New Year. I know it's the 5th, but I only just recovered from a very intense, week long music festival. Messy. I overestimated my ability to party and it finally caught up on me.

So, here goes:

Best 10 things of 2007:

1. Turning 21. It was the best day ever. I'm all into embracing old age with dignity.
2. My flat, and living with two other unbridled hedonists.
3. Being an unbridled hedonist and enjoying it because I didn't have as many responsibilities as usual. Realising and appreciating the importance of friends and family; for once in my life.
4. Meeting Diving Into The Wreck. (Although I think her name is unecessarily long.)
5. A delicious, non-mentally retarded male friend suddenly having the hots for me. The most amazing make out sessions ever.
6. Diet coke when Lulu has a hangover.
7. One particularly rowdy night with rolls of cash at a strip bar. We-hay!
8. Getting A-class grades at uni. A rare occurence.
9. My job. Discovering that looking after kids is possibly the best part time job a female student can have.
10. Ahmed Zaoui being let off the hook.

AND Buying a one-way, get-the-fuck-out-of-here plane ticket on Christmas Eve!!

Worst 10 things of 2007:

1. The death of an uncle on Valentines Day.
2. Being hit with an eye infection on New Years Eve, walking around the streets of Gisborne looking (through streaming, unbearably painful eyes) for a doctor and spending all my booze money on antibiotics and emergency GP callouts.
3. Baaaad gossip. Enough said.
4. Single-handedly driving between Auckland and Wellington.
5. Losing the love interest of the hot male friend, and the friendship. Reading He's Just Not That Into You and the truth not making it any bloody easier.
6. Eating a dodgy egg sandwich and killing the bug in my stomach by not eating for 24 hours.
7. Parking tickets.
8. The emergence of John Key. A good excuse to leave New Zealand.
9. Procastination of university assignments and the repercussions. Feeling like my tutors look down on me. In fact, being sure of it!
10. The hair wax. Burning of thigh skin. Yeeouch.

Happy 2008 homies!!

xx L

And she was woken by a kiss

2008-01-02T21:37:00.000+13:00

It seems that 2008 is already slipping by quickly. Im suppose to be looking for temp work ( p.s if anyone knows any work - get in touch) but have spent most of my time with friends, in the sun with a book or nearby water as often as possible. New Years was grand and much more than how I expected 2007 to end.

Usually I go away for New Years but it seemed that 2007 was to be spent in Auckland all because of poor planning and recent tragic events. Red Rasputin with my assistance hosted a party where it began all civilized and ended as one dirty mess at the end. I bought my camera to the event to find that battery was dead so only a few pictures could be taken. Note: Pictures on facebook- tho not that exciting and poor quality since I still don't know how to work the damm thing and am still looking for my camera charger.

Like all parties, it was all very civilized at first, there was the small talk, people bought alcohol and food in and politics as usual was mentioned.
But as soon as the bells rang and people got 2007 out of the way; the real party began. 42 Below was bought out, shots were drank and the cd kept skipping. A small group of us after our very poor attempt at saying happy new year went to the back of the house to watch fireworks. It was lovely and pretty and all seen at a safe distance. So I thought until bright colored pink light started to zoom towards me and lit various parts of my skirt on fire. At first I was oblivious to the whole thing until I smelt smoke and first thoughts came through my mind to which action followed.
First thoughts being "What a nuisance" and first action being a swipe and shake of the hand. The small fires were let out and I went back to the party shifting the now burnt part of skirt to the side. The rest of the party was grand, the neighbor came over to see if I was okay, a bottle of Bacardi was given as a gift and I managed to arrive home on New Years day at 7.30am.

But now 2008 is here and I have about a month to sort myself out for Sydney. I need money, lots of it pronto. HELP!

Look how they shine for you,

2007-12-30T19:45:00.001+13:00

Every December after Christmas, I begin to chill out and reflect back on the year that is about to end. So my lovely friends here is ten things that i loved about this year and ten things i didn't.

My ten most worst moments of 2007 (in no chronological order)

1. Sitting in a car with Pamziewamzie and Red Rasputin and having to listen to political drivel for 8 hours non stop.
2. The All Blacks losing
3. Coming home from road trips to find 2 ex flatmates on separate occasions gone leaving me (leaseholder) with huge debts.
4. Niece in hospital.
5. Hearing that Welly Girl was in hospital at one stage.
6. Not being able to go to best friends wedding because it was held in Hong Kong.
7. The Electoral Finance Bill
8. Having to be exposed to Emo's everyday when walking down my street.
9. The neighbours.
10. Christmas eve phone call - Good friend ( also brother of best friend) had died, age 19.

My favorite moments/things of 2007 ( in no chronological order)

1. The birth of my niece
2. Justin Timberlake concert
3. Road trips down to wellington
4. Meeting Wellygirl, Pamziewamzie and DPF
5. Tiramisu
6. Watching cricket on long summer days at my old work.
7. Rudd becoming Australian Prime Minister
8. Best friend getting married.
9. Mid week tipples
10. Moments of spontaneity

That was my best and worst times of 2007. So here is to 2008 where in Feb, Another Red Confectioner and I are off to Sydney for six months or more to start our O.E travels!!.

Note to kiwigirl

2007-12-15T17:50:00.000+13:00

How sad it was yesterday to not be able to procastinate and read the ramblings of kiwigirl.

Please give access.

x

Injustice

2007-12-12T11:24:00.000+13:00

What the fuck?

Christmas Is All Around

2007-12-12T09:02:00.000+13:00

I am a huge lover of Christmas, and am also very big on the whole idea of giving.
I spend alot of time trying to find thoughtful and meaningful gifts for people who are close to me, something which I am really struggling with as I can't find anything for my beau. I have already completed most of shopping, but will have the rest done by the end of the week (finger's crossed).

For my boss it will be a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine and a bucket of candy canes to be shared with everyone else in the office. However we are all looking forward to our Christmas party on Friday night, where we have just ordered $100 of pre going out drinks for the office, so we all be getting into the merry part of christmas.

However, for me, as someone who lost their dad 8 days before Christmas when I was 6, who has spent a couple of years at Christmas in hospital I know that this time of year can be hard for people. It is for this reason that I do a grocery shop of "treat" foods and a present shop that I then donate to the city mission. I also do a soft toy drop to the Children's Hospital, a blanket and food drop to the SPCA and I also give monetary donations to other charities such as The Salvation Army. I love Christmas and want to ensure that those who for some reason or another may not be able to celebrate Christmas are able to at least get a little something special.

I also like to visit elderly patients in hospitals and rest homes with little Christmas cakes, and other baking and goodies and sing some old carols with them, as many of these people do not have somewhere to go at Christmas and to be able to share the joy of Christmas with them is absolutely amazing.

This year I am also going around all the Wellington City Council flats next week delivering a pack of Christmas Mince Pies to each household which I am looking forward to.

Whilst I do not expect people to spread the joy to this extent, I do ask you to at least think of others who may not be able to celebrate Christmas or find it a difficult time of year and if you see a collector on the street to someone asking for a packet of chocolate biscuits please do give something - you have no idea just how much it means to the person who will receive it.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Wishlist

2007-12-10T13:07:00.000+13:00

To help the fellow consumers with their what to buy Pearl for Christmas:

New Ipod
Any artwork by Kenji Hirata
A digital camera
A digital photoframe
A all expenses all around the world paid plane ticket. Make that 2
Vouchers - Cybele, World, Sony, Triumph International, Bendon, Ferrit.co.nz and many others.
Clear blue skies days
Music
Cupcakes
A meeting with Steve Reich

About Bloody Time

2007-12-05T08:46:00.000+13:00

Finally the state of Wellington Hospital and in particular Capital and Coast District Health Board is being acknowledged as in an extremely concerning state, with new Health Minister David Cunliffe poised to intervene.

To list a few issues that have occurred:

1) A patient died after doctors realised halfway through surgery that equipment was not available in the right size, forcing staff to contact a company representative for advice.

2) A patient whose preventable death came on the day of surgery - after it had been postponed three times.

3) A seriously ill patient who died from an allergic reaction after a "Swiss cheese" series of system failures

4) A baby who died the following day after the baby and mother had been discharged from hospital 5 hours after the birth.

Whilst I can not fault the care that departments such as ICU(Intensive Care Unit) and HDU(High Dependency Unit) give, once you are no longer required to have that 24 hour monitoring you very rarely seem to see any medical staff. Furthermore the constantly full yet seriously understaffed emergency department also means patients are left waiting for hours and hours, my mother once commented that she noticed that once old couple have been in the waiting all night.

Whilst I am not a fan of minister's meddling in areas they do not really know about, I think that it is appropriate for Cunliffe to be looking into the number of serious issues involving patient mishaps, and staff shortages at the hospital. Hospitals have a duty of care towards their patients and as Minister of Health he has a responsiblity to all New Zealanders that we are provided with the health care we require, and ensure that hospitals around the country are offering the required duty of care.

First Contestant

2007-12-02T11:10:00.000+13:00

Do I need to say more.

Out of Towners

2007-11-25T18:48:00.000+13:00

On the streets, between hallways, in the bathrooms and the alike people have been asking Red Confectionery – What the hell is an Out of Towner? Free Dictionary online, Your dictionary.com and American Heritage dictionary define an Out of Towner as simply a visitor from another town or city.

Red Confectionery would like to extend that definition and place it in a New Zealand context. And lets face it, anywhere below the Bombay Hills and above North Shore city besides lets say Wellington and Christchurch is just small towns, villages and quaint countryside.

We have all encountered an Out of Towner, some more than others. They should never be confused with the country bumpkins, hicks and hillbillies. Hillbillies drives pick up trucks and deliver hay in winter. Country bumpkins are quaint, drink English breakfast tea and attend regular church meetings – it is possible that your own grandmother is a country bumpkin. Hicks are just hicks and need no definition.

The term Out of Towner was first mentioned a few months ago when Red Confectionery met a dear friend of ours (then) current hookup/potential love interest. Coffee was drank, words were exchanged and opinions based on first impressions were imprinted in Red Confectionery’s mind. Afterwards our dear friend asked the always inevitable question “ So what do you think of him?” to which Red Confectionery reply was “ He seemed nice but you could tell he was an Out of Towner”.

Since then Red Confectionery has been a tad obsessed with Out of Towner’s especially the male types. We have come to the conclusion that a successful relationship with an Out of Towner is near impossible especially for those confectioners residing in Auckland and most likely Wellington.

Lets look at some two dramatizations of Out of Towner encounters based on real life situations:

Scene One: You met a guy at a dance party, the beer goggles mixed with the amber lighting makes him and every other guy look hott. You hook up, there’s an exchange of saliva and he gets your actual digits. The following week he texts you and seems sweet. He mentions that he is lives in Thames and is coming up in a few weeks. You meet up and you first notice his unwashed unkempt hair that even the K rd and Elam art students wouldn’t even attempt. He wears brown corduroy pants and a grayish yellowish white woolen jumper that you thought died with Fred Dagg. After that he bores you to death with his small town stories and other quips that are so dull that its not even worth mentioning

Scene Two: You hang out with a guy who claims he is from the city, you reply so you’re from [insert Auckland or Wellington] here, he mentions no Hamilton. Smirk, chuckle. You and lets call him Jas hang out with the neighbors. You both get more than tipsy and the 3am munchies kick in. Luckily subway, kebabs and the night life is just around the corner. You and Jas walk up and the lovely ladies from Family and Cabaret embrace you with open air kisses. A few guys are holding hands and making out. It is a beautiful site. Love is all around even if it is punch drunk love. Jas seems quiet and has that facial expression that screams shock horror. You ask if he is okay and he comes back with " What a load of freaks, this place is fucking weird....fucking weirdos, its sick, gays should be locked up bla bla bla bla and so on"
Charming is it not? The walk back home is quiet and now you and the neighbors are looking for every excuse in the book to get rid of him without it being obvious.

But how does one define our New Zealand/Kiwi version of an Out of Towner - they are "special" breed of peoples and as said before should never be mistaken for the country hick, hillbilly or bumpkins. The above scenes are just insights into Red Confectionery's encounters with actual Out of Towners. Tragic yes i have to agree.

Here is some characteristics of an Out of Towner:

They wear rugby socks pulled up on a friday night in the city.
Have never ventured out from the town they were born in.
The local RSA is their local hangout - even if they are under the age of 60
They look like they wear clothes that were bought in an op shop ten years ago
UB40 is on their party playlist.
They stare at city people alot.
They think Hamilton is a city.
They think Whangarei is a city
They says things like ' He must of". [ For fucks sakes people, its ' He must have']
They think Helen Clark is a raging lesbian and that Winston Peters is the best thing since sliced bread.
Classic Hits is their favourite radio station
Out of Towners hate Aucklanders
They are easily charmed with anything from Glassons and a fluffy striped jumper.
Their diet consists of:

Breakfast - Toast, Margarine and Instant Coffee
Lunch - Ham Sandwiches
Dinner -lots of Mutton, maybe a kidney pie for special occasions. Mashed potato and tomato sauce. Maybe some tinned spaghetti.
Going out Dinner- Fish and Chips

They are terrified of Trannys.
They watch Flying Doctors and any other show that has farm dogs, tractors and green fields.

These are only a few of the characteristics but ones that Red Confectionery believes will stand out to our fellow patrons in the quest to find the Hottest Out of Towner. Out of Towners can also be the sweetest, kindest, loveliest peoples in the word but just a bit simple and are just plain tragic. Applications have been received for the hottest Out of Towner and Red Confectionery will posts a few profiles over the next few days.

Mindless Blogging

2007-11-22T17:32:00.000+13:00

I've just arrived home from a long walk.
Am not one for long walks in the city. Breathing in car fumes and becoming one with the city never really appeals to me.
But it was needed.

Boredom + available wine = A bit more than tipsy.

The weekend has kicked in. My job is the best; Extremely flexible. Am taking tommorow (Friday) off though might pop in to play tennis and eat strawberries and cream on the sidelines with bubbles of course.

JT Tomorrow!! Exciting stuff.

x Molly

Update: This blog took forever to write. I could not find the shift key or parentheses keys...... i blame the heat and auckland traffic

Not Cool at All

2007-11-22T11:42:00.000+13:00

So spent part of Tuesday afternoon/evening in Wellington Hospital's emergency department after being rescued from Scorching Bay.

I must say I find it rather amusing that whilst conscious I was very aware of the sun and getting burnt etc, however apparently first aiders and then the ambulance crew not so much as I am a little burnt on my back and shoulders!

However I wish to have a small grumble about some of the nursing staff at Wellington Hospital. Whilst I appreciate that they have long days and annoying patients I do not think that essentially barking at me or being rude to my boyfriend is at all appropriate - especially on the day when it comes out that they are one of the worst emergency departments in New Zealand.

As someone who spends a lot of time in and out of hospitals, I do think that people skills are vital to have in the medical profession, I really don't care if you topped med school (ok so I probably would like that Dr) but if you don't have people skills you are not a good Dr or Nurse or other medical professional if you can't relate to people and make them feel at ease.

Oh well I was only in for a few hours and spent most of it unconscious/asleep but I do not think that just because a nurse is having a bad day that that should be subjected onto patients afterall for us to be in emergency I'm sure our day is not going to plan either!

The search for the hottest Male Out of Towner

2007-11-20T15:14:00.000+13:00

My fellow Confectioners and patrons,

Red Confectionery is looking for this years hottest Male Out of Towner despite the fact that some of us have been majorily disapointed by the male out of towner said specimens in the brawn and brains department.

To qualify for this prestigious award the applicant must be

1. Male
2. Over 21
3. Born and raised in the small towns, villages and country side surrounding Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch.

Receiving applications now.

Australian Election Party

2007-11-20T11:18:00.001+13:00

As requested by few of our fans and copied from Facebook event invite since I cant be bothered.

Australian Election Party

Is Johnny (Lazerus with a triple By Pass) Howard going to be reelected again or is Kevin (Milky Bar Kid) Rudd going to be the next Prime Minister of the West island?

Come and join hundreds of others at Thomas Forde's Australian Bar (for one day only). Dress up as your favourite Australian. There will be prizes for the best dressed. Thongs, singlets and akubras allowed.

This event is open to people of all political hues. Even Pauline Hanson supporters!

It is guarenteed to be a night of high tension, unbearable excitement, drinking and out of tune renditions of waltzing matilda.

For one night only Thomas Forde's Irish bar becomes Australian and welcomes anyone interested in following the election of the year.

Start Time:
Saturday, November 24, 2007 at 6:00pm
End Time:
Sunday, November 25, 2007 at 3:00am
Location:
Thomas Forde's Australian Bar
Street:
122 Anzac Avenue
City/Town:
Auckland

We love her

2007-11-19T11:26:00.000+13:00

Our inspiration. See How to lose a guy in ten days or less.

The profound observations of the Herald

2007-11-19T10:58:00.000+13:00

Cringe.

How to lose a guy in ten days - or less

2007-11-18T11:48:00.000+13:00

Oh there are so many things, where do I start?

This is a joint post by myself and Pearl, based on common sense and personal experience. And a bit of speculation.

The following list is handy, as it saves on hurt feelings and brutal honesty. So if you don't like a guy and are going out with him, this is what you should do...(Best time to do this is during the first 3 months)

1. When your boyfriend visits your house for the first time, in the first two weeks of seeing each other, have a framed photo of the two of you on your mantelpiece. Or even better, your bedside table. Beside your Holy Bible, opened up to Corinthians 13. On top of a few Bride and Groom magazines.

2. Have his name tattooed on your left breast.

3. After the first time you sleep together, say "I always knew my first time would be [insert location]."

4. Call him several times a day, ask him where he is all the time and who he is with.

5. Go through his text messages.

6. Make him your other half on Bebo after your first date together.

7. Buy his and her things.

8. Ring his mother and arrange a social meeting without him knowing.

9. Buy a ring and broadcast on Facebook that you are engaged to [insert said specimen's name].

10. Say I love you in the first week (this has happened to me - very very creepy -Lulu)

11. Scream "Oh Daddy" when you are having sex with him.

12. Dramatic wild passionate public displays of affection. In front of his friends and parents. Will work well at funerals, his brother's graduation and especially grandma's house on a Sunday after church.

13. Sit on his best friends lap. That'll confuse the fuck out of him.

14. You're going home together, climb up onto his bed, jump up and down and yell out "Playtime!"

15. Arrange him to meet you in the morning and to just let himself in. Have your gay guy friends walk around the house naked and a few in your bed while you're semi naked in the spooning position.

16. Visit his work and show the receptionist your brand new ring. She'll send a congratulatory email to him cc everyone in the firm.

17. Go swimming in bathing togs with a permanent wedgie.

18. When shopping together, steal his house key, get a cut copy and when he is away at work - refurbish his whole flat with girly things.

19. You now have a copy key to his place - why not go to your local Kodak store and blow up some pictures of yourself and him to A1 size, have them framed, then mount them on the walls in prominent places in the house. This will work well in flatting situations and in communal living areas.

20. Use his toothbrush.

21. Ask him to move in with you after 2 weeks of seeing each other. This has happened to me - Pearl...yes i know FREAK!!!

22. Throw out all his clothes and replace them with Ambercrombie and Fitch

23. Delete all his songs on his ipod and replace them with love ballads and the following band: Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion, Enrique Ingelias, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, N Sync and other boy/girl pop group you can think of.

That's all we can think of. One of the above should be sufficient to freak out any reasonable and sane straight male. And maybe get you chucked in a loony bin. But hey.

xx L & P

Three things

2007-11-14T00:23:00.001+13:00

I have three things to talk about.

1. Dress up parties. I'm so sick of them.

It is hard enough going through the arduous procress of making oneself look pretty. Which can include all of the following: Plucking, waxing, shaving, hair washing, hair conditioning, hair masks, cleansing, exfoliating, toning, moisturising, outfit choosing, clothes washing, hectic (and not quite completed) use of the clothes dryer, applying makeup, hair drying, hair serum, hair straightening, perfume application. WHOA.

Not to mention the rest of the things that need doing: Buying bottles of booze, calling taxis, making sure something's in the stomach (see why this often gets missed out).

And it's not fun going out in public in costume. It may be nice to be stared at sometimes, but not when you know it's only due to the uniqueness of your clothing. And the fact that you probably look stupid.

This is particularly difficult after a day at the beach on a Saturday, or even worse, a Friday after work. Sometimes I wonder, why am I feeling stressed on a weekend?

So when I receive an invitation to a theme party, I am not at all pleased. If I know the person well enough I will even be so rude as to turn up in mufti.

It's not cool.

Fact about dress up parties: most girls love them, especially the themes that give them an excuse to wear short shorts and those criss crossy stockings. It brings out our inner 'diva,' you could say.

But give me a normal party any day.

2. The Electoral Finance Bill.

Can't we just outlaw the Exclusive Brethren?

Bad joke. But regardless of the benefits that this bill could bring to election campaign fairness (and I am becoming more doubtful of this each time I read the media. Hmmm. Maybe this is telling. Perhaps the media have a vested interest in this issue?), it's not politically savvy. And at the end of the day, governments can't go around (blatantly) doing what the public doesn't want.

I'm being reminded of Thatcher's last years. That's right, her last years. When she got on that 'My way or the highway' buzz. Some studies would say that many third term governments do it. And many would say that they promptly get chucked out.

Swallow your pride Labour, I don't want National to get elected.

3. Lulu has a new love interest. SS, and every other male in the universe, couldn't be further from her mind.

xx L

Gypsy Fyah

2007-11-13T08:42:00.000+13:00

Last sat night Pamzie and I with a few hundred other people dressed up a gypsies and religious figures to sing, dance and play dead at this years Big House end of uni exams gypsy party. Unfortunately none of us bought a camera to capture the moments.
I did though manaage to steal the top pictures off facebook and myspace....

Gossip on the rumour mill... Pamzie and I may be in one of the live music videos of the Bendka Bordavosky Bordello band dancing with our fellow gypsys and giving the most sillest dramatic shakesperian inspired dying scenes.

If other pictures wander around. I shall post them up. The night was fun.

p.s: Yah for summer arrival.

x

Love is in the air or is it?

2007-11-09T10:38:00.000+13:00

“You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love with you”

In the lives and homes of Red Confectionery the topics of love, lust, boys, relationships and sex have always being a dominant conversational focal point. Politics of course is always a very close second.

Looking back at Red Confectionery history, new relationships have been developed, hearts have been crushed, Friday night hook-ups were once a bi weekly thing, new sexual experiences have been encountered and a few have considered out of towners as being potentially attractive.

Statistics show that 88% of the Red Confectionery population is single and have been for more than six months. How can this be? Majority of Red Confectioners are attractive, independent, educated and all individually possess many other great attributes plus all can cook and dance. One thing that always makes us ponder on the question whilst always being reminded by the forever wonderful world of social networking is – “How is it your biggest enemy, the dorkiest person you know, that egoistical prick, or just downright plain and ugly always seem to manage to get lucky or have joined that group whom call themselves happily married?”

I am sure our fellow patrons would understand, just go through one of your Facebook friends list and count the amount of times you say what the fuck because Facebook has reminded you that yes unattractive boring as hell people can get and often do get lucky in love; such wedded and familial bliss adorn their page.

The gossip grapevine of So and So are currently engaged or are you going to the Wilmington’s wedding this sat has encouraged some of the Red Confectionery population to join the fantastic Facebook group “My friends are getting married, Im just getting Drunk”.

The group has now over 80,000 members who understand the perils of hearing constant stories about your previous high school classmates getting hitched. These members understand the anguish and the need to actually be a bit tiddly while one sits through the long monotonous speeches that frequent at weddings or keeping your mouth shut while you think wow another white strapless dress and roses – how original.

Hearing and seeing many current and past friends, acquaintances and enemies getting hitched all under the age of 24 does make one freak out and consider their relationship status. We always knew the marriage and family thing would be inevitable but by the age of 24 – Isn’t that a bit too soon or perhaps for some an indication of loneliness and desperation?

“You know it's bad when someone proposes to you at the beginning of the year(i said no!!) and are engaged to someone else by the end of the year - desperation????”
Sarah Kyfinn (West midlands) – member of the group “My friends are getting married, I’m just getting Drunk”.

The sad thing is that this non relationship spell has left some of fellow Red Confectioners mildly desperate at times as well where we have considered the following:

Speed Dating
Expanding our horizons to men belonging to the Out of Towner category.
Overdosing ourselves on Dr Phil relationship advice
Milky way bars
Going on a blind date with the I.T guy from work
Reading the book ‘The Rules’
Going back to church just because a group of hot guys walk in

Where do you meet people these days? Is there a secret club that no one at Red Confectionery knows about? Can Red Confectionery really follow the Rules religously and can anyone say it actually works while also keep your own self dignity at the same time.

A Church Like No Other

2007-11-06T11:31:00.000+13:00

This Sunday ARISE CHURCH in Wellington turns 5. It is headed by Pastors John and Jillian Cameron with an amazing number of other Wellington based Pastors as well, such as Levi and Nadia Marychurch the youth pastors and Ben and Anna Carroll who are the children and Young Adults pastor.

This is church that started off with 30 people and now has 1400 members and three services on a Sunday plus a youth service on a Friday night. With a constant stream of different pastors from around the world speaking this church is never boring.

This Sunday there will one service at the Wellington Town Hall at 5pm, and be assured it will be like no church service you have ever attended, there will actually be fireworks involved in the service and a huge number of people there.

100 years ago there was an article publsihed in a local Wellington paper stating that more people were attending movies each week than church, whilst last week another local paper wrote more people are attending church than the movies each week - ironic that Arise does not have a permanent location but is usually at the Paramount Theatre.

Guy Fawkes

2007-11-05T16:12:00.000+13:00

I love Guy Fawkes.

Why? - Fireworks, Birthday Celebrations, pressies and cake!

In the spirit of revising election campaigns...

2007-10-31T22:55:00.000+13:00

How did this get elected.

Good Morning Baltimore!

2007-10-31T09:49:00.001+13:00

I am in love!

On Saturday I went to see HAIRSPRAY at the movies, with bf in tow and loved it. The colour and songs and characters all worked really well and with a nice little story line about love/being different/racial differences tied in as well.

I now have the songs stuck in my head, and on my ipod! No doubts it will come out as a musical on stage soon in NZ, as it has been around the world since its original 1988 release.

A moment of silence please.

2007-10-31T08:43:00.000+13:00

Tears were shed last night at one of the red confectioners home...okay mine.
Coronation Street will never be the same without Fred.
But as Fred would say "Never mind, I say, never mind

An interesting insight into the terror raids

2007-10-30T14:40:00.000+13:00

Greetings

It has been a very busy time indeed. On Monday 15th October, four houses (well one was a tent) in Wellington we're raided at dawn, and four people were arrested and charged with possession of firearms. Their residences were able to be searched under the 'terrorism suppression act 2002' but as of yet they have not been charged under the act. 13 others were arrested throughout the country, including Tame Iti who the media are having for lunch. My ex-partner, his brother and sister, and three of my friends are all in remand prison in Wellington and Auckland. It is incredibly hard to visit them; the process is frustrating to say the least. I have not visited them yet, but their partners and friends have. They are in single cells with nothing – just like on the movies.

The Wellington four had their bail hearing yesterday morning. The judge asked that the public leave but the media stayed, so we didn't get to see them for long – only a fleeting wave or two. Very heartbreaking. They did not get bail. Their name suppression continues for now which is good. Some have had their hearings in Auckland, the one I am most concern about will be heard on Monday I think and his bail is looking good.

These people have done nothing wrong. From my point of view they have been hand picked by the police because they are the main organisers for political activism in New Zealand. I do not understand why they are now in this situation. They did not and would never possess guns. I don't understand the connections with Tuhoe. I feel like I'm in a hazy cloud, it feels like the government and police have pulled wool over our eyes.

Here is what I feel is going on. It is from my heart and no where else, so please do not take it as fact.

New Zealand recently passed up the opportunity to sign to the UN declaration of Indigenous Rights, for which I have no words. Colonisation is now, current, ever beetling away, is all I can say to that. This has incensed many people as I think it should. Possibly there was an action relating to this being planned in the works? Who knows….

These activists have been bugged in this operation for 3 years (which means my converstations/emails/texts with my ex have been tracked for a long time). They are being oppressed for speaking out against the governments policies on a number of issues. It is well know that the crown and its enforcers do not like this bunch of people.

They are peace activists, environmentalists, tino rangatiratanga activists – not terrorists!!!!!

The police have no evidence of guns

The media knows nothing, and present this 'nothingness' as something, and even that they manage to present incorrectly. Do not believe the media. Think for yourself, think critically. Check out indymedia. Keep in mind that New Zealand is trying its hardest to look like its joining the 'war against terror'. The media is fear-mongering middle NZ and it is working. All they have to say is "Maori' 'Guns" "Terror" "Tame Iti" and show images of 128 Abel Smith Street (activist center) and there you have it – freak out.

The government is trying hard to pass the Terrorism suppression amendment act next week which will make it much easier to arrest people under the act. Potentially actions such as the 1981 springbok tour sit in on the Wellington motorway could be deemed as terrorism. This is 'police state' kind of action. New Zealand also wants to, or has already? Linked into the USA's terrorist list, meaning that people deemed to be terrorists by American standards cannot come here. This means for example, that anyone in the world who gets labelled as a terrorist will not be able to get refugee status in western countries. Ahmed Zaoui would not have had a chance here. If people, or a person anywhere stand up for their rights against their government for whatever reason, and their government does not like it – boom! They are a terrorist for life…..does this sound familiar. I believe this is going on in New Zealand/Aotearoa too.

Take action….tell people what you think, not what the media tells you.

Organise.

This will affect us all, not just the 17 in jail right now.

Thanks for reading. Pass it on if you wish, or better still write your own rant.

Jesse Moss.

I can add to this last comment about not believing the media coverage, they know as little as we do quite frankly and I can illustrate this with two points.

The Urewera raids, which this sting was based around must be placed in an historical light. Tuhoe have been fighting for their rights for a long time, these are Rua Kenana's people who around 1906 esteblished a cooperative community at the same Maungapohatu we've all seen in the news. Soon the community grew to around 1000 people, the land owned and farmed collectively with all proceeds being shared according to need.

To the Pakeha of the time all Maori were lazy, shiftless and drunken, so the return of self-repect and independence under Rua amazed and even rankled them. During WWI he was harassed by the police and in a moment of anger he said the Germans would win. This was the moment the Pakeha were waiting for. Rua and 31 others were arrested for sedition during which shots were exchanged between police and his followers. His oldest son Toko and Toko's maternal uncle Te Maipi were killed. A jury found Rua not guilty of sedition and only "morally" guilty of resisting arrest.

Sir Joseph Ward was reported as saying "I told Rua, that in New Zealand , Edward is King.....There can be no other Government or King...there can't be two suns shining in the sky at once. The picture below picture shows Rua's arrest on April 2nd 1916, after a shootout between his followers and 70 armed police. He is handcuffed to his son Whatu. Rua was sentenced to 12 months hard labour after what was the longest trial in New Zealand history at the time. To stress my point, things haven't changed much since 1916.

2. My second point refers to the 'tip off' recieved from the two hunters. This area is a popular hunting ground and there has long been contention between non-tuhoe hunters who often trespass on Tuhoe land. In fact some of the best hunting grounds are on Tuhoe land. This is important for two reasons, firstly, this is not the fist time non-Tuhoe hunters have had the finger pointed at them and falsley implicated in illegal activity. Secondly the alleged training camp, is a hunting and gathering camp for Tuhoe locals, hui are held there, families go camping there, there are guns around and theyre used for hunting.

please pass this on,

Ben Phillips

Long gone are the days when Superheroes were cool.

2007-10-27T15:54:00.000+13:00

Someone give Stan Lee his pills. Seriously.

Guess what Bitches this is your next Superhero. Does'nt he look fierce.

Children's Oncologist Gone

2007-10-25T12:46:00.000+13:00

Yet another resignation at Wellington Hospital has left patient's and their families devastated at what the they will have to do to receive treatment.

The latest resignation comes from the only remaining child oncologist, meaning that all children suffering from cancer will have to travel to other hospitals in the country to receive tertiary treatment.

With currently 30 children under the Child Cancer Service at Wellington Hospital this is a huge strain to place on other hospitals, and furthermore the number of cases increases by about 11 each year. Wellington Hospital provides the service for patients in the lower North Island region as well as Wellington.

CCDHB has committed themselves to still providing the service and to finding another oncologist, however they will need to find more than one to battle the increasing work load.

Whilst Starship caters for many children around New Zealand they usually take critical cases and children from smaller urban areas that do have such specialist pediatricians in their hospitals.

Ronald McDonald House also allows a home away from home for parents, and the children themselves if they do not require constant hospitalisation but may need daily treatments.

It is horrible that officials are appearing to not be too concerned and that parent's who are alreading caring for their sick children, now have to fight to keep this much needed service.

What the?

2007-10-24T13:48:00.001+13:00

As pointed out by Craig Foss:

Oct 11 2007 : PM Clark opens new PN electorate office for Steve Maharey.

Oct 19 2007: Steve Maharey announces intention to resign.

Thoughts?

Ab-King Master

2007-10-24T13:04:00.001+13:00

My current place of residence has invested in an ab0king pro, the whole 3 minutes a day, lose ten pounds in ten days machine and you will have abs of steel one day.

I need to get back in shape after being so sick and basically having had no energy for ages, so I have taken up swimming again, running, walking and have decided that using the ab king pro would be great as when I am short of time, which is often, I can just jump on this for 3 minutes.

So yesterday as I cooked dinner for the kids, and had prepared us adults dinner, I thought I would start using the machine. Now due to the shape of my back I can not have it on the hardest resistance but I had it on a good one for me. So I did my 3 minutes, and let me assure it is NOT as easy as it looks on TV. I could feel where abs should be contracting and whilst I felt like I had done a small workout I thought I could probably go for longer, so after checking on dinner I went back and did some more time on it.

This morning, whilst I did not miraculously wake up with the six pack the ads would lead you believe you can get, I am not sore (unless I cough) and can feel kinda of tighter in a weird way, so who knows maybe if I keep this up I will sculpt my way to a firmer sexier body haha.

So the ab-king pro currently gets a thumbs up from me, although it does not compare to step class which I miss greatly.

Getting choked by Cherry Garcia Ice Cream.

2007-10-23T17:17:00.000+13:00

Once in a while I get the urge to drive down to my local video store book a few dvds and curl up on the couch with a packet of crisps and a couple of scoops of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice cream. Now I am always one for recommendations but have come partial to only receiving recommendations from a select few because of one particular reason - Movies being over rated.

If you answer yes to three or more of the following questions/statements, then it is likely that I will ignore any recommendations you make and seriously hope and pray for the rest of us that you don't take Film and Television at Auckland University in the quest to become the next Peter Jackson. Your taste in film sucks and probably only extends as far as the Blockhouse Bay Video Ezy Collection.

You list more than one of the following as your favorite actors/actresses on your facebook/bebo/myspace page - Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz, Josh Harnett, Will Smith, Eninmemem, Angelina Jolie ( ahem sucking her way to the top), Brad Pitt - Jolie lil bitch, Ben Affleck, Leonardo Dicaprio, Zac Efron, Temeura Morrison, -the list goes on and on.
You have no idea what Rialto, The Academy or Ludo cinemas is or where they are located.
You drink Tui.
You think that you're clued up on the whole film world because you drophatt Steven Spielberg like you're some clued up movie buff.
You have never gone down the international/film festival section of the video store collection.
You like romantic comedies that have Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez - actually anyone named Jennifer in them.
You think you're the next Peter Jackson because your year 5 teacher gave you an A for your stupid english programme on your video project about your dog Rusty.
You always go for the overhyped movies such as the Simpsons, Harry Potter, Titanic and so on

Now on to my list of the most overrated movies I have seen in the past few years - feel free to add your own. (not in any chronological order)

Titanic - ( i was gutted that they all didnt die)
Forest Gump
Dances with Wolves
Father of Bride Series
War of the Worlds - (Die Dakota Fanning die die die!)
The Matrix
Grease
The Good Shepherd
Pirates of the Caribean 2
The Da Vinci Code

Lulu on the move

2007-10-23T00:36:00.000+13:00

Shudder and procrastination. Flat hunting. I've forgotten how to do it.

You see, I've been living pretty merrily for the past year with friends, getting up to all sorts of shenanigans, getting away with all sorts of things that most flats would have me out on the street with an "unbridled party animal" sign stuck firmly on my forehead.

Things like, for example, bringing a party back to the flat at 5am. And letting all sorts of characters camp on the couch. And living right in the city, with carparks. So good. And being comfortable enough with my flatmates to politely, but firmly, state "shut up," when I'm studying for exams.

Actually, I've only done the 5am thing a couple of times, which didn't count as I was already out with a flatmate. I'm not that bad. But I'm pretty bad.

So far I've been lucky with flats; I am pretty easygoing. At least I think so. My only vice is being a bad influence and being a little messy. Some would debate the use of the word "little" being in front of "messy" but standards differ. I'm a very considerate flatmate; emotionally at least.

So now I have the difficult task of finding a cool place. But how do you weed out the unsuitable ones?

Many ads say "no pets," and desire a "non smoker." This is a tell tale sign. They are fussy. I don't blame them, I used to absolutely abhor smokers... Until I became one. But for some reason, this comes across as "straight laced" to me. And well, I've found stoners to be generally cool, easygoing cats. And how do you find those in the newspaper?

I'm a little tempted to call up a flat that says their ideal flatmate would be "Japanese" or "Chinese." Just to give them a shock. I guess saying that kind of thing saves people a lot of time. And ones that say "English speaker preferred" are probably not my cup of tea either. But you should know that I'm cringingly PC by now.

Something I've also picked up in the ads are the well-written, all-details-included, perfect grammar mini essays. These could not have been written by guys, and usually signify the presence of a bossy, 21ish, alpha-female type, which I have come across before. Not a bad thing, but girls like that can be so fussy sometimes. Or maybe (shock, horror) I am an alpha female. But I don't think so.

One actually looked really good, until it said "we are three fun loving girls who are looking for a fine speciMAN." The disturbing thing is, I don't think they were trying to be dodgy. But speaking of dodgy ads, there were a couple of 40ish males sneakily advertising in the "Flatmates Wanted" when what they really meant was "Flat Wanted." To share with themselves and all their "Confirmed Bachelor" glory. That's all I have to say to about that.

Of course, when meeting potential flatmates you definitely need to put on the "weirdo filter," but that comes with common sense. And let me tell you, if I see one fucking didgeridoo I will be out of there, pronto. Unless it's being used for firewood.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this. And I've made myself out to appear remarkably fussy, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just don't want anyone to be remarkably fussy with me, thank you very much.

And I haven't even started on what kind of house I like to live in. (Backyard, window in bedroom, big lounge, maybe a couple of paintings on walls, clean -not tidy- bathroom) I wouldn't generally recommend moving in with friends, but it has worked out for me before. It helps if you've known those friends for several years though. And unfortunately for me, most of mine are still in their comfortable nests at home, or with "serious" live in boyfriends.

I'm totally over this flat hunting business. I hate looking for flats and despite my party reputation I hate moving and would prefer a fixed abode.

I might start thinking about getting my friends out of their nests.

Mirror Images

2007-10-18T12:33:00.000+13:00

In the spirit of polls, statistics and Outrageous fortune. Red Confectionery asks:

They're identical twins but the question is Who would you take home?

OR .....

Its what we do on a monday night

2007-10-17T09:43:00.000+13:00

Ubergeeks Farrar, Heine and Kiwigirl comment on the recent Durex survey and it has the girls and guys at Red Confectionery finger and toe counting their "statistics". Lists are written and stories are shared. In true Red Confectionery manner, totals are calculated and averaged out. Average shows that Red Confectionery is listed the low mid tier of the spectrum. The spectrum showing on the far left virginal, never been kissed, Im saving myself for marriage LDS ring bearer while on the far right My 100,000 lovers New Zealand infamous sex addict Coralie.

In the world of Red Confectionery we recently learn:

A fellow confectioner (is that even a word) has currently finished their last Uni essay and possibly their last paper for their current degree.
Guys that go to the Rugby are hot. To be more precise 80% of the guys aged under 35 that go to Rugby at Eden Park with pink colored ASB stand level 5 tickets are hot.
Open mike night at Grand Central is becoming our Monday night pastime.
The month of October is terribly expensive and stressful.
Red Confectionery Patron God Newsboy has crossed "paths" with two fellow confectioners ( a boy and girl) at seperate times.
Patron God Newsboy is added to both boy and girl confectioners list.

And our urban word/phrase of the day is: Leave Britney Alone.

Terrorists!

2007-10-15T20:18:00.000+13:00

Political activists, beware! You are all under suspicion of terrorism. In order to make yourself appear innocent when raided, I suggest you get rid of the following paraphernalia that may be in your possession:

-Pamphlets.
-Proof of communication between yourself and anyone considered 'radical.' This of course, includes Greenpeace and Save Happy Valley activists. (those militant thugs)
-Your big mouth. It's not OK to talk about anarchism.
(And obviously, weapons. Weapons are bad and if you have them then you should, probably, be arrested)

But I suspect that the raids that took place today did not uncover any weapons from groups like Save Happy Valley and Aotearoa Anarchists. And I don't think it's OK for innocent people to have their homes raided, and their address splashed across national newspapers.

It also makes me uncomfortable to see that the Terrorism Suppression Act bypasses our right to freedom of association, making it illegal to 'take part in a terrorist organisation.' Where do you draw the line? What is a terrorist organisation? It seems the finger is being pointed at radical, but reasonably harmless groups.

Don't get me wrong. I certainly don't support violent anti-government groups, or even anti-government groups for that matter. Or even political parties that aren't in government. And I would like to see the Sky Tower, that symbol of oppression, stay intact, thank you very much.

I just think that raiding all political activist groups goes a bit overboard, and is not only unecessary but entirely self defeating. I'm not so naive that I think no such violent anti-government activity goes on in New Zealand, but I think that doing things like this will make people afraid that there is more going on than there actually is.

And cause unecessary fuss. And make people suspicious of one another, and intolerant of different beliefs. And waste tax payer money.

It will be interesting to see the public's reaction to today's events.

Drowning my disapointment in the Auckland public with a glass of gin and tonic

2007-10-15T14:28:00.000+13:00

Things that disappointed and annoyed me last week.

Hearing the news that John Banks was re elected. Seriously disappointing.

The English winning and having to avoid any English rugby fanatic. This is of course is a very easy task as the ERF can be spotted miles away - pasty white, david beckham shaved heads, dreamy british accents or those who are less unfortunate- cockney or leeds twang and always found in backpackers such as the Fat Camel.

Text messages from Sailor and Oscar Wilde. Boys are funny. You be a complete bitch to them and they attach to you like ants to a jam jar on a summers day.

The wind and rain. Bring on summer and barbeques.

The movie Holiday - the most boring movie ever.

Things that bought a smile to my face last week.

Sunday Brunch.

Knowing that Summer is near.

Birthday celebrations.

Frank Sinatra "I did it my way"

Working in my new office.

Radar alert.

2007-10-14T17:06:00.000+13:00

Last night Lulu and I (lured by rugby shorts of course) battled through the rain and wind to the rugby. We arrived, with out pink colored tickets, huge umbrellas and our eyes on hot guy radar alert. Luckily our tickets were for the members lounge ASB stand and not the uncovered terraces.

Boy was the Hot guy radar alert on full siren that night. They were everywhere at the bar, behind the bar, sitting down in their seats, the waiters , behind us, in front of us, on our left and our right and of course on the field.

A bottle of wine later and having plenty of eye candy to digest, it was pretty much half time and well since Auckland was pretty much winning by that stage, Lulu and I decided to leave to of course create more wild debauchery but thats another story for another time.

p.s: This whole going to the rugby or cricket thing could become a regular pastime for the various reasons:
1. Hot guys
2. Free tickets to games
3. Hot guys

The lure of rugby shorts

2007-10-13T18:29:00.000+13:00

I'm going to the rugby tonight - for one reason and one reason only.

To perve at the boys, of course! Wouldn't have a CLUE who's playing.

xx L

Its not how we're drinking

2007-10-12T11:46:00.000+13:00

Click on Picture!

A Weekend of Birthdays

2007-10-12T10:09:00.000+13:00

Last weekend both Pamziewamzie and I turned 21. Pamzie turned 21 on the 6th and I on the 7th.

Whilst I was unable to make the celebrations in Auckland I understand that it was great night, and with the theme of Breast Cancer Awareness pink balloons were everywhere, alot of alcohol was consumed and alot of fun had by all.

I had my party a couple of weekends ago at the Southern Cross Bar in Wellington. It was small gathering of about 30 people with an interesting mix of family, family friend, old flatmates and friends. About midnight my friends and I continued the night in town.

Sad that neither Pamzie or I could make each others birthdays but rest assured that we certainly had a drink for each other.

Yeah Right!

2007-10-10T13:35:00.001+13:00

It Still Hurts

2007-10-09T11:16:00.000+13:00

A number of jokes are out about the All Blacks loss against France, and hence departure from the World Cup.

Here are some I have received, please feel free to add more in comments.

Police found a man had hung himself wearing an All Blacks jersey, the police took it off and dressed the man in womans underwear, so his family would not be embarrassed.

What’s the difference between the All Blacks and an arsonist? An arsonist woouldn’t waste five matches.

What do you call 15 guys sitting around the T.V watching the Rugby World Cup final? The All Blacks

Hear the All black’s are replacing the silver fern on there jersey’s with a red tampon as it’s the worst fucken period they’ve ever had.

John Kirwan has been selected as the next All Black coach as he knows how to deal with depression. (bad taste I know)

What’s the difference between Graham Henry and Viagra?
At least Viagra gives you a semi.

Graham Henry gets handed a mobile phone and is told “this is Wayne Barnes’s phone”, Henry says “how did you know”, the reply is “it had 15 missed calls”

What's the difference between a tea-bag and the All Blacks?
A Tea Bag stays in the cup longer

Heard about the All Blacks new bra? All support but no cup

All the small things

2007-10-05T15:21:00.000+13:00

There's something about the weather getting sunnier that makes me a bit sentimental. (No, I didn't rescue a penguin)

The other day I was driving up a hill to uni, when my car ran out of gas. Luckily, I was metres away from a petrol station, so drove in. Well, chugged in is a better word for it. But to my dismay, I had forgotten my wallet.

...Actually I lie, I was out of money; day before pay day etc etc.

This guy came up to me and offered to help push my car, which he thought had broken down. Feeling utterly irresponsible, I confessed that I had just run out of gas and was getting a friend to bring me some cash.

I sat in the car, literally about to explode with stress (it's assignment season) when there was a knock at the window. The guy who spoke to me before put some money into my hand. What a darling.

It's not the money or the generousity, it's the gesture. It really made my week. We complain so much about how fucked up the world is, but it really only takes a small thing to fill your heart with warm fuzzies.

I guess it has a lot to do with how we choose to perceive the world; I mean, I could have felt patronised for being classified like some kind of homeless person (although I'm not far off, being a student), but I didn't.

On Wednesday I was looking after some kids, so I took them ice skating. I was speeding along the ice (I love skating) when this six year old suddenly appeared in front of me. We tried to dodge but I ended up bowling into her, so I scooped her up and literally carried her for the next few metres so she didn't fall over. Her friend came rushing up to me,

"Are you OK?" She asked.

What an absurd question, a 6 year old worried about a 20 year old that had almost bowled over her friend. So sweet.

They wanted to compete in the race that takes place every ice skating session, so I sorted it out for them, being tall enough to talk to the people at the booth. I thought, that really is something, being young enough to not care whether you win or lose; which they would, having legs the length of my arm.

And I was in a lecture the other day, the lecturer started talking about how people run for political office. He told us about this man he ran into at the supermarket, who confessed to running as an independent every election... despite losing every election. He made me think, there's also something courageous in that, maybe I should acknowledge that kind of personal strength next time I bag an MP.

The world is full of these things. Birds building their nests, one piece of straw at a time. Caterpillars morphing into butterflies, taking hours to struggle from their chrysallis until they fly off. Babies struggling to get up off the ground for their first crawl (I've seen this, it's amazing).

And I don't know why I wanted to write this. Except to say that I am, for no particular reason, very happy right now, and very grateful.

We should try and take the time to notice these things.

xx L

So much for responsible journalism

2007-10-05T08:49:00.000+13:00

Truth Newspaper has named the Police Office that shot Stephen Bellingham dead last week in Christchurch.

I think that this absolutely disgusting, and a cheap attempt to boost the publications circulation.

The incident is being looked into currently and very few people know what happened in this incident. Their are reports that the officer was threatened by Bellingham with a hammer and acted in self defence, and if it is found otherwise it will dealt with appropriately.

To have named the officer is unacceptable and irresponsible, as it does not only affect the named officer but also their entire family and friends. My heart goes out to the officer and their family at this time, especially as the officer was doing their job, and ensuring that no one including themself was hurt by Bellingham.

I believe that this case is certainly a reason as to why tasers should be given to the Police, as in a scenario like this it would have been the option to use, however I am not completely against guns, as I feel that if you are confronted by a gunman who has open fire against the Police possibly while also having killed people then a gun is more appropriate.

NB The link does not lead to an article naming the officer

What Have I Done?

2007-10-04T13:05:00.000+13:00

My little sister has over the recent years become more and more interested in politics, something which I certainly never expected. She has always been right wing, and I was convinced a staunch National Party supporter. Well now she has gone further right and even announced it on bebo:

In just over 3 months I will legally be able to drink and vote.

So come election time next year I will be casting my vote.

Who to vote for many of you may ask?

Well for that is not a very hard decision...

I am not maori so that rules out the Maori Party
I am against hypocricy so that rules out Labour
I am not a big fan of John Key so that rules out National
I am not into Green party policies so that eliminates the Greens
United Future and Destiny= not me

So that only leaves one real choice,

The party that strives for excellence, the party that has the best policies, the party that will strive to deliver a free market.

The only party totally worthy of my vote

The party is ACT!!!

I am intrigued to see how well she will rally support for them next year as she studies as Massey in Palmerston North, although considering she is doing a Bachelor of Applied Economics there will probably be people who will join her in supporting ACT.

Breast Cancer

2007-10-03T11:49:00.000+13:00

Please support this awesome cause!

It's a strange condition...

2007-09-30T17:59:00.000+13:00

Another list of things that strike me as strange...

The A Team was disadvantaged by a smear campaign. My mistake, I didn't know 16 year olds went to Victoria University, did you?

People are taking Banks seriously. Auckland chucked him out, now they want him back in. Has he cured world hunger? Has he had a facelift? Oh no, the only thing that's changed is the amount of grey hairs on his head.

Out in Auckland's west suburbs another failed politician is trying to climb the local body ranks. Word on the street says that's not the only thing he likes to climb...

A guy in Scotland was reported to have a four month hangover. Haha, only in Edinburgh...

Despite spouting Labour policy like it's been their's all along, the National Party has finally opened their trap. Inadvertently. Asset sales and increases in doctor's caps; big bloody surprise.

Keeping Auckland Fryer Free. No, it's not an anti P campaign, it's an anti City Vision campaign. They're cool people. Seriously. The only reason rates have risen in Auckland is because a reluctant right wing council kept them down for so long. Those buses need warrants of fitness, you know...

Daylight saving has begun. But where I am, all that's being saved is more friggin rain time.

Over and out.

Mile High Club

2007-09-28T20:46:00.000+12:00

When I'm on a long haul flight I always wondered how easy it could be to become part of the exclusive Mile High Club. Does it start with a subtle brush on the cute 19 year old guy leg who is about to spread his seed around in every club in Europe or pulling the necktie of the 25 year old recent graduated businessman from New York.

On my recent visit to Montreal the following happened on the plane:

Words were exchanged.

Things gots bumpy.

Hands slipped in unknown territories.

A few oohs and aahs were muttered between two people.

New members to the Mile High Club.

Simple as that.

Character Flaws

2007-09-28T16:50:00.000+12:00

The problem with dating someone for the first time is that you can never really know them, until you get to know them. In this process character flaws become very apparent, regardless of how normal people appear to be.

Now, everyone has character flaws. But I want to talk about the freaky ones, inspired by people I have met and stories I've been told. Feel (very) free to add your own.

So you've been dating someone for a couple of weeks only to discover... (to your horror)

Their penis is miniscule.

They are completely, and utterly obsessed with playing the didgeridoo. At first you think it is just a quirky hobby, until they start bringing it over to your flat. To the delight of your flatmates, who find it hugely entertaining. They have a special bag for it, special polish, and even a special stand in their house for it. They also make a habit of bringing the phallic instrument to small social gatherings. Entirely lacking in social skills, they aren't quite able to distinguish between people laughing at them, or with them.

They confess that they only get turned on by redheads. A quick search on their computer reveals an impressive collection of ginger porn.

(You are a brunette.)

They are only able to come when you call them 'mother.'

They have an obsession with Ireland, despite being a 5th generation New Zealander. They change their name by deed poll to something Irish, or O'Malley-ish. they grow their hair so it is loooong, curly and greasy, and have an impressive selection of celtic jewellery. And swords.

They have an obsession with anal sex.

They wear 'Rio' underwear. (available exclusively from Foodtown)

They are chronic pot smokers. (not actually a huge problem)

They are obsessed with a political party.

They have a girlfriend on the other side of the world ("what, you didn't know?")

That's all I can think of.

Have a great weekend!