Friday, November 09, 2007

Love is in the air or is it?


You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love with you”


In the lives and homes of Red Confectionery the topics of love, lust, boys, relationships and sex have always being a dominant conversational focal point. Politics of course is always a very close second.

Looking back at Red Confectionery history, new relationships have been developed, hearts have been crushed, Friday night hook-ups were once a bi weekly thing, new sexual experiences have been encountered and a few have considered out of towners as being potentially attractive.

Statistics show that 88% of the Red Confectionery population is single and have been for more than six months. How can this be? Majority of Red Confectioners are attractive, independent, educated and all individually possess many other great attributes plus all can cook and dance. One thing that always makes us ponder on the question whilst always being reminded by the forever wonderful world of social networking is – “How is it your biggest enemy, the dorkiest person you know, that egoistical prick, or just downright plain and ugly always seem to manage to get lucky or have joined that group whom call themselves happily married?

I am sure our fellow patrons would understand, just go through one of your Facebook friends list and count the amount of times you say what the fuck because Facebook has reminded you that yes unattractive boring as hell people can get and often do get lucky in love; such wedded and familial bliss adorn their page.

The gossip grapevine of So and So are currently engaged or are you going to the Wilmington’s wedding this sat has encouraged some of the Red Confectionery population to join the fantastic Facebook group My friends are getting married, Im just getting Drunk”.

The group has now over 80,000 members who understand the perils of hearing constant stories about your previous high school classmates getting hitched. These members understand the anguish and the need to actually be a bit tiddly while one sits through the long monotonous speeches that frequent at weddings or keeping your mouth shut while you think wow another white strapless dress and roses – how original.


Hearing and seeing many current and past friends, acquaintances and enemies getting hitched all under the age of 24 does make one freak out and consider their relationship status. We always knew the marriage and family thing would be inevitable but by the age of 24 – Isn’t that a bit too soon or perhaps for some an indication of loneliness and desperation?


“You know it's bad when someone proposes to you at the beginning of the year(i said no!!) and are engaged to someone else by the end of the year - desperation????”
Sarah Kyfinn (West midlands) – member of the group “My friends are getting married, I’m just getting Drunk”.


The sad thing is that this non relationship spell has left some of fellow Red Confectioners mildly desperate at times as well where we have considered the following:

  • Speed Dating
  • Expanding our horizons to men belonging to the Out of Towner category.
  • Overdosing ourselves on Dr Phil relationship advice
  • Milky way bars
  • Going on a blind date with the I.T guy from work
  • Reading the book ‘The Rules’
  • Going back to church just because a group of hot guys walk in
Where do you meet people these days? Is there a secret club that no one at Red Confectionery knows about? Can Red Confectionery really follow the Rules religously and can anyone say it actually works while also keep your own self dignity at the same time.

9 comments:

Pamela said...

Milky way bars

That's it. I've never considered the likes of speed dating.

Great post btw xx

peteremcc said...

it's coz you're lefties...

hehe ;)

welly_girl said...

Um, excuse me Peter!

I do love this post.

Diving into the wreck said...

peter: funny funny ha ha

Seamonkey Madness said...

"plus all can cook and dance."

Aah yes, but that all counts for nought if you're crap in the sack.

Kristen said...

You could all just be extremely fussy with guys.

What are out of towners?

welly_girl said...

I am very happily in love, just to clarify.

Diving into the wreck said...

yes you and loverboy are incredibly cute!

Lulu said...

Oh dear me, we are neither extremely fussy nor bad in the sack. At. All.

Out of towners, as the name suggests, are people from out of the city. But not necessarily all of them, it comes with certain characteristics which we will ellaborate on later...