Thursday, January 31, 2008

Party time!

Essentials for throwing a good party:

A function on your cellphone that lets you send multiple messages.
Facebook event planners.
A flatmate that works at Lion Breweries (does anyone else have a problem pronouncing brewery? I do...).
Large quantities of beer.
A few hundred sausages for the BBQ.
Potato salad.
Plastic plates, cups, etc.
Chairs, backyard.
A dealer to sort your friends out.
Non-scratched mix CDs. (No Spice girls or rap, they will get turned off and destroyed)
An impressive stereo.
Letters to the neighbors.
A party dress that you haven't appeared in public in before, and heels that don't get stuck in the lawn.

Have I forgotten anything? I fear that I have...

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


So. Every time I ask a John Key supporter why they are voting National next election, I am left confunded with the answer:

"It's time for a change."

When questioned they inevitably say something along the lines of:

"Well, Helen's done her run, you know, it's good to chuck out governments every few years."

No it is not. Imagine, how much money and time is wasted going back and forth with budgets and legislation in two somewhat polar moral directions. Changing student loan entitlements every few terms, for example. Yes, society changes and laws need to change to accomodate the growing population, etc, but it is such a downer to realise that not-so-long-ago there were no student loans. I think what I'm trying to say with this example is that it creates a lack of faith in the system, when the system is changing all the time, and is a bitch to understand.

After a while, people start to forget altogether what it is the government does, they become bad at filling in forms and even worse at understanding the news, and they forget what previous administrations have done. Come election time people say things like,

"Oh, let's vote National shall we, get rid of that NCEA thing." (Erm, National introduced NCEA)

There are myriads of examples of political ignorance; which I'm sure have been witnessed, rather than demonstrated, by the type of people that read this.

People like myself, for example, who didn't know a thing about politics until the year 2000, if that. I can't remember what a National-led government was like, because I was only 12 years old the last time such a ghastly thing happened. (Young people are in grave danger of being succeptible to Key)

People also get sick of seeing the same old broken veined politicians on TV, and even though they do a decent job, they inevitably get older and uglier and more weary looking, so the solution seems to be: vote for a different party.

The politicians in power eventually grow more arrogant and out of touch with the public. In the worst cases, they become corrupt and cynical.

These phenomenons are all symptoms of Third-Term-Itis and the result means a change of government for New Zealand. But not necessarily for the best reasons.

Wouldn't it be more effective to have a renewal of cabinet, and change party leaders more often? I guess the problem with politics is that most politicians don't know when it's time to step down. It's human nature. And I think the media has had a definite part to play in all this; always targeting politicians with an "us versus them" kind of mentality and showing a preference for news that is entertainment rather than information based. Nevertheless, voter turnout and political awareness has gone down, and cynicism has gone up. (Although I don't know where I can find figures for that)

And the idea that it's "time for a change" is merely a catch phrase - in New Zealand's case anyway.

Why change the government when unemployment is at its lowest in 28 years, we are ranked as having the 5th highest standard of living in the world, crime is down, and the economy is growing?

Things are not perfect, but they are a damn sight better than they used to be since around the mid-90's, at least according to the MSD's latest social report.

It's okay to say that it's time for a change if the government has done a lousy job - but in all fairness I think even an (intelligent) National supporter could agree that it hasn't been a complete disaster - the latest social report, regardless of the fact that it was written by the government, does have some very positive indicators. And it's not just the report, there are other things. Which would take me hours to write about, like the fact that I can swim in my local beach and know that I won't be getting poisoned any time soon. People from around the world are constantly telling me that we don't know what we have here, my own cousin got back from the UK yesterday and said that there is almost nowhere in the world as clean and safe as New Zealand.

Emotional language, but I think I've made my point.

I think it's about time that people start having good reasons for voting National.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

"To Bridget - Just the way you are"

As some of you know, the Red Confectionery population is obsessed with the opposite sex. One particular Red Confectioner has limited her blog postings (you know who you are)for..........well details are certainly unnecessary. Hair has been GHDed, frequents visits to the beauty clinic have been arranged, Estee Lauder White Linen perfume 100ml bottle is now near empty, stupid jokes has been laughed at, dresses enhancing our best bits have been bought, and books, articles, Google searches on particular subjects that I for one don't give a toss about have been researched..... ALL in the name of the SAID SPECIMEN - the opposite sex.

The results vary - some of us like the darling Bridget Jones and that main girl off Pride and Prejudice (who i never remember the name of and probably the reason why i should have paid attention in English rather than perving at Mr Martin cute behind; never mind) seem to have found our Mark Darcy, while Others are still playing around with Daniel Cleaver.

Tuesday night viewing highlights has just gone up a whole new level with what could be the hit show of the month of February- "Rock of Love" aired on C4 - Tuesday nights at 9.30pm or 8.30??. Brett Michael's lead singer of that band that sang the infamous song " Every Rose has it's thorns" is looking for that special someone - the girl who will rock his world and oh poor him has 20 women to choose from. Last night 6 women's hearts were crushed and sent home. Brandi C (the annoying one) tho last one to be picked was lucky enough to be saved. Perhaps it was the heartfelt near spiritual nirvana promise she made to Brett Michaels - 3 wives, 4 girlfriends ...or was it the other way around. The girl is annoying and whiny. A soon to be favorite is Tiffany - staggering, slurring, mascara run eyes and one hell of a drunken mess that sure makes Brett Michael quest for love a whole lot more interesting.

Thought for the Day " Is anyone already sick of the shite reminders that Valentines is near?"

See below for more entertainment.

Bad Medicine

I am in love!

I have spent a long weekend travelling between Wellington and Christchurch and back all for the sake of seeing the one and only Bon Jovi.

The concert was awesome, with a crowd of about 30,000 people all on their feet dancing and singing along it was certainly the best concert I have ever been to. Jon Bon Jovi was fanastic - clad in leather I am sure he must of been melting but he did his butt wiggle and flashed that smile and every girl in the stadium must have gone weak at the knees coz I know I fell in love then.

Whilst in Chch I managed a few touristy things such as dragging the boys to the Cathedral (which I don't think minded) and Ballentynes as well as the Antarctic Centre and up the Gondola before departing yesterday afternoon.

Whilst it was a pleasant night for sailing by tummy did cope at all well I spent the better half of three hours rather ill aboard the ferry in the last hours and wee hours of this morning. Please to say I now safely back on land with no intentions of using the ferry any time in the near future.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Yes we can.

This is my first blog about something political - well its only the video clip of the second part of Obama's speech. I thought it deserved Red Confectionery's love and respect.
Hattip- Farrar.

Friday, January 25, 2008

The night where we fell in love with the new girl.

The new girl being - LitaBit

For the love of midweek tipples, viral (blogger) marketing and mostly the absolutely faboulous Kiwigirl being in Auckland - fellow bloggers and DPF trolls gathered together last Weds at the Chapel for drinks.

To be perfectly honest and full credit to foodtown wine sales, I can not recall a significant moments of the night except for few first (blogger drinker) observations:

1. Blogger drinks are all about self promotion.
2. Everyone predrinks before blogger drinks and are usually somewhere near tipsiness at arrival.
3. Farrar is going to be mentioned at some point.
4. Politics is mentioned usually initially by a male.
5. Bloggers and Trolls never look how you pictured them in your mind.
6. Photos are going to be taken (see below).

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Love like Winter

Im kinda mad, annoyed, very very frustrated at MONTY!

Here we have beautiful weather that helps us tan more quickly and rush to the nearest corner shop for lemonade iceblocks and drive to the Beach with the car radio on full blast and all windows down with the sea breeze coming through.

AND what does Monty oh so stubbornly want? via demonstration of threatening to create a potential lets hold up North Shore traffic at 5pm back to Whangaparoa - the FUCKIN Heat turned on and up to full blast.

Too demanding, thank God only three more weeks.

Summertime... When the living's easy

Everyone is more good looking in the summer. The heat (sometimes) takes away our apetites, leaving us with cave like stomachs. And those of us fortunate enough to tan go a nice healthy nut brown. Sexual encounters are sweaty, slippery (or even underwater) romps. Hair gets highlighted in the sun and at the end of the day when it's time to start sipping the Summer Ale, people are left with a sunkissed, glowing look. Hair straighteners are discarded for beach hair and disappeared freckles return with a vengeance.

It seems like even the media has a cheery tone to it; I haven't seen any grumpy reporting for ages. Summer is the perfect time to fall in love.

And although I've had my fair share of sexy boys over New Years, I can't seem to summon up the enthusiasm to fall hopelessly.

I suspect part of the reason for this is that I already have a huge crush on someone. (Though trying to quelch the inconvenient sensation) Ouch. And moving in three weeks.

I feel like I'm in limbo. An emotional, inconclusive dead end. Help!

xx L

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Heath Ledger is Dead!

Actor Heath Ledger was found dead at 3:35pm (New York Time)in his Manhattan apartment from what appears to be a drug overdose.

Ledger is most commonly known for his role in Brokeback Mountain, and for the likes of me in 10 Things I Hate About You where is starred beside Julia Stiles.

He has a daughter with Michelle Williams (from Dawson's Creek) and the couple had called off their engagement and broke up in August 2007.

Monday, January 21, 2008

you take me to places ive never been before

This is really nothing to post except to say that was'nt the Mask party great?

Auckland blogger drinks this weds!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Holiday Activities

We've all suffered from sleepless nights because some fly with ADD has been buzzing around our room, landing on our nose every five minutes. It's excrutiating.

And of course I'm tempted to kill the little fuckers with flyspray, but that means I have to breathe it in myself, which is even more unpleasant. I just find it a bit off putting; I've seen what that stuff can do to insects - what to speak of the cells in my lungs?

There was also a particular New Years in Whangamata, when my girlfriends and I were lured into a tent full of boys for a sesh. I didn't partake in the ganja smoking that night, and about an hour later I was to witness all my friends chundering, as the bud had been sprayed with fly killer, to give it a "kick" or something, I don't know.

So flyspray is one of my less neurotic phobias.

Anyway, over the holidays I've been doing a bit of babysitting.

Forget movies and minigolf. Forget Dora the Explorer and Hannah Montana. Fly hunting is where it's all at. This is what I do: I roll up a copy of the latest New Zealand Herald (some use fly swats, but I prefer the satisfaction of covering bad media with fly guts), I demonstrate how to successfully thwack a fly and the kids follow. They love it, it's good exercise, and great for teaching kids how to concentrate and be quiet.

In fact, you may even find yourselves arguing over who gets to kill the last fly, as we did. Who would've known fly hunting could be such a hit?

AND it's environmentally friendly, although I wouldn't leave the squashed flies lying around if I were you... Everyone should try it this summer.

xx L

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Out of Towner Adventures

I am now back in Auckland after a week long holiday visiting my mother in Nelson.
The weather was lovely, people were friendly and the night life was practically non existent. Lulu requested me to take pictures of "Out of Towners" but for some odd reason they (the out of towners) kept looking at me weirdly or questioning my intentions to photograph them.
Perhaps it was the fact that there was no beautiful scenery nearby but just ordinary street backgrounds or the trolley bay near the entrance of First Choice Supermarket.

I did manage to capture the Out of Towner Dog- See below

Compared to the "bitches" of Remuera (See below) who are usually christened with names of insects (Cricket), food (Honey) and fairytale characters (Tinkerbell). Out of Towner dogs have manly names like Butch and Mutt.

Can you imagine the outcry if Tinkerbell got knocked up by an Out of Towner dog? Scandalous.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Message from a Hard Working Kiwi

I received this and just had to share it:

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the Governmnet distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay cheque, as I work in the timber industry, I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem in passing.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand - I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.

I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse drinking piss and smoking dope all day.

Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a WINZ cheque?

Something has to change in this country... and soon!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

But that trains keeps rolling.

Nzherald warns Aucklanders to be prepared for heavy rain tonight so with that and while Lulu is contemplating on her absurd affliction with digeridoos, I'm off to Sunny Nelson for a week.

To keep the punters entertained - here is some good old Johnny Cash

Monday, January 07, 2008

Thought for the day

I'm planning my travel itinerary for Aussie and onwards.

I want to learn about aboriginal culture, I really do - but I have a pathological fear of didgeridoos. Is anyone else afflicted with this condition?

xx L

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Another Year, A New Me?

Another Happy Belated New Year.

How to sum up 2007 is rather tricky, I experienced some of the worst moments of my life and some of the most joyous.

Never in a million years did this time last year I think I would be a member of the National Party, head over heels in love and survive being resuscitated.

I got to meet Diving into the Wreck and spend some amazing times with her and Pamziewamzie in both Wellington and Auckland. These girls are amazing.

I discovered that you have to be careful in who you think are true friends are unfortunately nothing but political allies (now enemies), and strangely it is them I feel the most sorrow for.

I met the man I am most probably going to marry, considering we have our childrens names picked, the type of car we wish to purchase initially and then one later to accommodate the number of said children, where we want to live, how I will be the one more involved more in politics than him and we are curretnly even looking at getting a place together even if it does not happen until end of Trimester One when I will have finished my BA.

I wish everyone the best for 2008 and to the Red Confec girls heading across the ditch I am going to miss you SO much.


Saturday, January 05, 2008

Best and Worst of 07

Happy belated New Year. I know it's the 5th, but I only just recovered from a very intense, week long music festival. Messy. I overestimated my ability to party and it finally caught up on me.

So, here goes:

Best 10 things of 2007:

1. Turning 21. It was the best day ever. I'm all into embracing old age with dignity.
2. My flat, and living with two other unbridled hedonists.
3. Being an unbridled hedonist and enjoying it because I didn't have as many responsibilities as usual. Realising and appreciating the importance of friends and family; for once in my life.
4. Meeting Diving Into The Wreck. (Although I think her name is unecessarily long.)
5. A delicious, non-mentally retarded male friend suddenly having the hots for me. The most amazing make out sessions ever.
6. Diet coke when Lulu has a hangover.
7. One particularly rowdy night with rolls of cash at a strip bar. We-hay!
8. Getting A-class grades at uni. A rare occurence.
9. My job. Discovering that looking after kids is possibly the best part time job a female student can have.
10. Ahmed Zaoui being let off the hook.

AND Buying a one-way, get-the-fuck-out-of-here plane ticket on Christmas Eve!!

Worst 10 things of 2007:

1. The death of an uncle on Valentines Day.
2. Being hit with an eye infection on New Years Eve, walking around the streets of Gisborne looking (through streaming, unbearably painful eyes) for a doctor and spending all my booze money on antibiotics and emergency GP callouts.
3. Baaaad gossip. Enough said.
4. Single-handedly driving between Auckland and Wellington.
5. Losing the love interest of the hot male friend, and the friendship. Reading He's Just Not That Into You and the truth not making it any bloody easier.
6. Eating a dodgy egg sandwich and killing the bug in my stomach by not eating for 24 hours.
7. Parking tickets.
8. The emergence of John Key. A good excuse to leave New Zealand.
9. Procastination of university assignments and the repercussions. Feeling like my tutors look down on me. In fact, being sure of it!
10. The hair wax. Burning of thigh skin. Yeeouch.

Happy 2008 homies!!

xx L

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

And she was woken by a kiss

It seems that 2008 is already slipping by quickly. Im suppose to be looking for temp work ( p.s if anyone knows any work - get in touch) but have spent most of my time with friends, in the sun with a book or nearby water as often as possible. New Years was grand and much more than how I expected 2007 to end.

Usually I go away for New Years but it seemed that 2007 was to be spent in Auckland all because of poor planning and recent tragic events. Red Rasputin with my assistance hosted a party where it began all civilized and ended as one dirty mess at the end. I bought my camera to the event to find that battery was dead so only a few pictures could be taken. Note: Pictures on facebook- tho not that exciting and poor quality since I still don't know how to work the damm thing and am still looking for my camera charger.

Like all parties, it was all very civilized at first, there was the small talk, people bought alcohol and food in and politics as usual was mentioned.
But as soon as the bells rang and people got 2007 out of the way; the real party began. 42 Below was bought out, shots were drank and the cd kept skipping. A small group of us after our very poor attempt at saying happy new year went to the back of the house to watch fireworks. It was lovely and pretty and all seen at a safe distance. So I thought until bright colored pink light started to zoom towards me and lit various parts of my skirt on fire. At first I was oblivious to the whole thing until I smelt smoke and first thoughts came through my mind to which action followed.
First thoughts being "What a nuisance" and first action being a swipe and shake of the hand. The small fires were let out and I went back to the party shifting the now burnt part of skirt to the side. The rest of the party was grand, the neighbor came over to see if I was okay, a bottle of Bacardi was given as a gift and I managed to arrive home on New Years day at 7.30am.

But now 2008 is here and I have about a month to sort myself out for Sydney. I need money, lots of it pronto. HELP!