Sunday, December 30, 2007

Look how they shine for you,

Every December after Christmas, I begin to chill out and reflect back on the year that is about to end. So my lovely friends here is ten things that i loved about this year and ten things i didn't.

My ten most worst moments of 2007 (in no chronological order)

1. Sitting in a car with Pamziewamzie and Red Rasputin and having to listen to political drivel for 8 hours non stop.
2. The All Blacks losing
3. Coming home from road trips to find 2 ex flatmates on separate occasions gone leaving me (leaseholder) with huge debts.
4. Niece in hospital.
5. Hearing that Welly Girl was in hospital at one stage.
6. Not being able to go to best friends wedding because it was held in Hong Kong.
7. The Electoral Finance Bill
8. Having to be exposed to Emo's everyday when walking down my street.
9. The neighbours.
10. Christmas eve phone call - Good friend ( also brother of best friend) had died, age 19.

My favorite moments/things of 2007 ( in no chronological order)

1. The birth of my niece
2. Justin Timberlake concert
3. Road trips down to wellington
4. Meeting Wellygirl, Pamziewamzie and DPF
5. Tiramisu
6. Watching cricket on long summer days at my old work.
7. Rudd becoming Australian Prime Minister
8. Best friend getting married.
9. Mid week tipples
10. Moments of spontaneity

That was my best and worst times of 2007. So here is to 2008 where in Feb, Another Red Confectioner and I are off to Sydney for six months or more to start our O.E travels!!.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Note to kiwigirl

How sad it was yesterday to not be able to procastinate and read the ramblings of kiwigirl.

Please give access.


Wednesday, December 12, 2007


What the fuck?

Christmas Is All Around

I am a huge lover of Christmas, and am also very big on the whole idea of giving.
I spend alot of time trying to find thoughtful and meaningful gifts for people who are close to me, something which I am really struggling with as I can't find anything for my beau. I have already completed most of shopping, but will have the rest done by the end of the week (finger's crossed).

For my boss it will be a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine and a bucket of candy canes to be shared with everyone else in the office. However we are all looking forward to our Christmas party on Friday night, where we have just ordered $100 of pre going out drinks for the office, so we all be getting into the merry part of christmas.

However, for me, as someone who lost their dad 8 days before Christmas when I was 6, who has spent a couple of years at Christmas in hospital I know that this time of year can be hard for people. It is for this reason that I do a grocery shop of "treat" foods and a present shop that I then donate to the city mission. I also do a soft toy drop to the Children's Hospital, a blanket and food drop to the SPCA and I also give monetary donations to other charities such as The Salvation Army. I love Christmas and want to ensure that those who for some reason or another may not be able to celebrate Christmas are able to at least get a little something special.

I also like to visit elderly patients in hospitals and rest homes with little Christmas cakes, and other baking and goodies and sing some old carols with them, as many of these people do not have somewhere to go at Christmas and to be able to share the joy of Christmas with them is absolutely amazing.

This year I am also going around all the Wellington City Council flats next week delivering a pack of Christmas Mince Pies to each household which I am looking forward to.

Whilst I do not expect people to spread the joy to this extent, I do ask you to at least think of others who may not be able to celebrate Christmas or find it a difficult time of year and if you see a collector on the street to someone asking for a packet of chocolate biscuits please do give something - you have no idea just how much it means to the person who will receive it.

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Christmas Wishlist

To help the fellow consumers with their what to buy Pearl for Christmas:

  1. New Ipod
  2. Any artwork by Kenji Hirata
  3. A digital camera
  4. A digital photoframe
  5. A all expenses all around the world paid plane ticket. Make that 2
  6. Vouchers - Cybele, World, Sony, Triumph International, Bendon, and many others.
  7. Clear blue skies days
  8. Music
  9. Cupcakes
  10. A meeting with Steve Reich

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

About Bloody Time

Finally the state of Wellington Hospital and in particular Capital and Coast District Health Board is being acknowledged as in an extremely concerning state, with new Health Minister David Cunliffe poised to intervene.

To list a few issues that have occurred:

1) A patient died after doctors realised halfway through surgery that equipment was not available in the right size, forcing staff to contact a company representative for advice.

2) A patient whose preventable death came on the day of surgery - after it had been postponed three times.

3) A seriously ill patient who died from an allergic reaction after a "Swiss cheese" series of system failures

4) A baby who died the following day after the baby and mother had been discharged from hospital 5 hours after the birth.

Whilst I can not fault the care that departments such as ICU(Intensive Care Unit) and HDU(High Dependency Unit) give, once you are no longer required to have that 24 hour monitoring you very rarely seem to see any medical staff. Furthermore the constantly full yet seriously understaffed emergency department also means patients are left waiting for hours and hours, my mother once commented that she noticed that once old couple have been in the waiting all night.

Whilst I am not a fan of minister's meddling in areas they do not really know about, I think that it is appropriate for Cunliffe to be looking into the number of serious issues involving patient mishaps, and staff shortages at the hospital. Hospitals have a duty of care towards their patients and as Minister of Health he has a responsiblity to all New Zealanders that we are provided with the health care we require, and ensure that hospitals around the country are offering the required duty of care.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Out of Towners

On the streets, between hallways, in the bathrooms and the alike people have been asking Red Confectionery – What the hell is an Out of Towner? Free Dictionary online, Your and American Heritage dictionary define an Out of Towner as simply a visitor from another town or city.

Red Confectionery would like to extend that definition and place it in a New Zealand context. And lets face it, anywhere below the Bombay Hills and above North Shore city besides lets say Wellington and Christchurch is just small towns, villages and quaint countryside.

We have all encountered an Out of Towner, some more than others. They should never be confused with the country bumpkins, hicks and hillbillies. Hillbillies drives pick up trucks and deliver hay in winter. Country bumpkins are quaint, drink English breakfast tea and attend regular church meetings – it is possible that your own grandmother is a country bumpkin. Hicks are just hicks and need no definition.

The term Out of Towner was first mentioned a few months ago when Red Confectionery met a dear friend of ours (then) current hookup/potential love interest. Coffee was drank, words were exchanged and opinions based on first impressions were imprinted in Red Confectionery’s mind. Afterwards our dear friend asked the always inevitable question “ So what do you think of him?” to which Red Confectionery reply was “ He seemed nice but you could tell he was an Out of Towner”.

Since then Red Confectionery has been a tad obsessed with Out of Towner’s especially the male types. We have come to the conclusion that a successful relationship with an Out of Towner is near impossible especially for those confectioners residing in Auckland and most likely Wellington.

Lets look at some two dramatizations of Out of Towner encounters based on real life situations:

Scene One: You met a guy at a dance party, the beer goggles mixed with the amber lighting makes him and every other guy look hott. You hook up, there’s an exchange of saliva and he gets your actual digits. The following week he texts you and seems sweet. He mentions that he is lives in Thames and is coming up in a few weeks. You meet up and you first notice his unwashed unkempt hair that even the K rd and Elam art students wouldn’t even attempt. He wears brown corduroy pants and a grayish yellowish white woolen jumper that you thought died with Fred Dagg. After that he bores you to death with his small town stories and other quips that are so dull that its not even worth mentioning

Scene Two: You hang out with a guy who claims he is from the city, you reply so you’re from [insert Auckland or Wellington] here, he mentions no Hamilton. Smirk, chuckle. You and lets call him Jas hang out with the neighbors. You both get more than tipsy and the 3am munchies kick in. Luckily subway, kebabs and the night life is just around the corner. You and Jas walk up and the lovely ladies from Family and Cabaret embrace you with open air kisses. A few guys are holding hands and making out. It is a beautiful site. Love is all around even if it is punch drunk love. Jas seems quiet and has that facial expression that screams shock horror. You ask if he is okay and he comes back with " What a load of freaks, this place is fucking weird....fucking weirdos, its sick, gays should be locked up bla bla bla bla and so on"
Charming is it not? The walk back home is quiet and now you and the neighbors are looking for every excuse in the book to get rid of him without it being obvious.

But how does one define our New Zealand/Kiwi version of an Out of Towner - they are "special" breed of peoples and as said before should never be mistaken for the country hick, hillbilly or bumpkins. The above scenes are just insights into Red Confectionery's encounters with actual Out of Towners. Tragic yes i have to agree.

Here is some characteristics of an Out of Towner:
  • They wear rugby socks pulled up on a friday night in the city.
  • Have never ventured out from the town they were born in.
  • The local RSA is their local hangout - even if they are under the age of 60
  • They look like they wear clothes that were bought in an op shop ten years ago
  • UB40 is on their party playlist.
  • They stare at city people alot.
  • They think Hamilton is a city.
  • They think Whangarei is a city
  • They says things like ' He must of". [ For fucks sakes people, its ' He must have']
  • They think Helen Clark is a raging lesbian and that Winston Peters is the best thing since sliced bread.
  • Classic Hits is their favourite radio station
  • Out of Towners hate Aucklanders
  • They are easily charmed with anything from Glassons and a fluffy striped jumper.
  • Their diet consists of:
    • Breakfast - Toast, Margarine and Instant Coffee
    • Lunch - Ham Sandwiches
    • Dinner -lots of Mutton, maybe a kidney pie for special occasions. Mashed potato and tomato sauce. Maybe some tinned spaghetti.
    • Going out Dinner- Fish and Chips
  • They are terrified of Trannys.
  • They watch Flying Doctors and any other show that has farm dogs, tractors and green fields.
These are only a few of the characteristics but ones that Red Confectionery believes will stand out to our fellow patrons in the quest to find the Hottest Out of Towner. Out of Towners can also be the sweetest, kindest, loveliest peoples in the word but just a bit simple and are just plain tragic. Applications have been received for the hottest Out of Towner and Red Confectionery will posts a few profiles over the next few days.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Mindless Blogging

I've just arrived home from a long walk.
Am not one for long walks in the city. Breathing in car fumes and becoming one with the city never really appeals to me.
But it was needed.

Boredom + available wine = A bit more than tipsy.

The weekend has kicked in. My job is the best; Extremely flexible. Am taking tommorow (Friday) off though might pop in to play tennis and eat strawberries and cream on the sidelines with bubbles of course.

JT Tomorrow!! Exciting stuff.

x Molly

Update: This blog took forever to write. I could not find the shift key or parentheses keys...... i blame the heat and auckland traffic

Not Cool at All

So spent part of Tuesday afternoon/evening in Wellington Hospital's emergency department after being rescued from Scorching Bay.

I must say I find it rather amusing that whilst conscious I was very aware of the sun and getting burnt etc, however apparently first aiders and then the ambulance crew not so much as I am a little burnt on my back and shoulders!

However I wish to have a small grumble about some of the nursing staff at Wellington Hospital. Whilst I appreciate that they have long days and annoying patients I do not think that essentially barking at me or being rude to my boyfriend is at all appropriate - especially on the day when it comes out that they are one of the worst emergency departments in New Zealand.

As someone who spends a lot of time in and out of hospitals, I do think that people skills are vital to have in the medical profession, I really don't care if you topped med school (ok so I probably would like that Dr) but if you don't have people skills you are not a good Dr or Nurse or other medical professional if you can't relate to people and make them feel at ease.

Oh well I was only in for a few hours and spent most of it unconscious/asleep but I do not think that just because a nurse is having a bad day that that should be subjected onto patients afterall for us to be in emergency I'm sure our day is not going to plan either!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The search for the hottest Male Out of Towner

My fellow Confectioners and patrons,

Red Confectionery is looking for this years hottest Male Out of Towner despite the fact that some of us have been majorily disapointed by the male out of towner said specimens in the brawn and brains department.

To qualify for this prestigious award the applicant must be

1. Male
2. Over 21
3. Born and raised in the small towns, villages and country side surrounding Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch.

Receiving applications now.

Australian Election Party

As requested by few of our fans and copied from Facebook event invite since I cant be bothered.

Australian Election Party

Is Johnny (Lazerus with a triple By Pass) Howard going to be reelected again or is Kevin (Milky Bar Kid) Rudd going to be the next Prime Minister of the West island?

Come and join hundreds of others at Thomas Forde's Australian Bar (for one day only). Dress up as your favourite Australian. There will be prizes for the best dressed. Thongs, singlets and akubras allowed.

This event is open to people of all political hues. Even Pauline Hanson supporters!

It is guarenteed to be a night of high tension, unbearable excitement, drinking and out of tune renditions of waltzing matilda.

For one night only Thomas Forde's Irish bar becomes Australian and welcomes anyone interested in following the election of the year.

Start Time:
Saturday, November 24, 2007 at 6:00pm
End Time:
Sunday, November 25, 2007 at 3:00am
Thomas Forde's Australian Bar
122 Anzac Avenue

Monday, November 19, 2007

We love her

Our inspiration. See How to lose a guy in ten days or less.

The profound observations of the Herald


Sunday, November 18, 2007

How to lose a guy in ten days - or less

Oh there are so many things, where do I start?

This is a joint post by myself and Pearl, based on common sense and personal experience. And a bit of speculation.

The following list is handy, as it saves on hurt feelings and brutal honesty. So if you don't like a guy and are going out with him, this is what you should do...(Best time to do this is during the first 3 months)

1. When your boyfriend visits your house for the first time, in the first two weeks of seeing each other, have a framed photo of the two of you on your mantelpiece. Or even better, your bedside table. Beside your Holy Bible, opened up to Corinthians 13. On top of a few Bride and Groom magazines.

2. Have his name tattooed on your left breast.

3. After the first time you sleep together, say "I always knew my first time would be [insert location]."

4. Call him several times a day, ask him where he is all the time and who he is with.

5. Go through his text messages.

6. Make him your other half on Bebo after your first date together.

7. Buy his and her things.

8. Ring his mother and arrange a social meeting without him knowing.

9. Buy a ring and broadcast on Facebook that you are engaged to [insert said specimen's name].

10. Say I love you in the first week (this has happened to me - very very creepy -Lulu)

11. Scream "Oh Daddy" when you are having sex with him.

12. Dramatic wild passionate public displays of affection. In front of his friends and parents. Will work well at funerals, his brother's graduation and especially grandma's house on a Sunday after church.

13. Sit on his best friends lap. That'll confuse the fuck out of him.

14. You're going home together, climb up onto his bed, jump up and down and yell out "Playtime!"

15. Arrange him to meet you in the morning and to just let himself in. Have your gay guy friends walk around the house naked and a few in your bed while you're semi naked in the spooning position.

16. Visit his work and show the receptionist your brand new ring. She'll send a congratulatory email to him cc everyone in the firm.

17. Go swimming in bathing togs with a permanent wedgie.

18. When shopping together, steal his house key, get a cut copy and when he is away at work - refurbish his whole flat with girly things.

19. You now have a copy key to his place - why not go to your local Kodak store and blow up some pictures of yourself and him to A1 size, have them framed, then mount them on the walls in prominent places in the house. This will work well in flatting situations and in communal living areas.

20. Use his toothbrush.

21. Ask him to move in with you after 2 weeks of seeing each other. This has happened to me - Pearl...yes i know FREAK!!!

22. Throw out all his clothes and replace them with Ambercrombie and Fitch

23. Delete all his songs on his ipod and replace them with love ballads and the following band: Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion, Enrique Ingelias, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, N Sync and other boy/girl pop group you can think of.

That's all we can think of. One of the above should be sufficient to freak out any reasonable and sane straight male. And maybe get you chucked in a loony bin. But hey.

xx L & P

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Three things

I have three things to talk about.

1. Dress up parties. I'm so sick of them.

It is hard enough going through the arduous procress of making oneself look pretty. Which can include all of the following: Plucking, waxing, shaving, hair washing, hair conditioning, hair masks, cleansing, exfoliating, toning, moisturising, outfit choosing, clothes washing, hectic (and not quite completed) use of the clothes dryer, applying makeup, hair drying, hair serum, hair straightening, perfume application. WHOA.

Not to mention the rest of the things that need doing: Buying bottles of booze, calling taxis, making sure something's in the stomach (see why this often gets missed out).

And it's not fun going out in public in costume. It may be nice to be stared at sometimes, but not when you know it's only due to the uniqueness of your clothing. And the fact that you probably look stupid.

This is particularly difficult after a day at the beach on a Saturday, or even worse, a Friday after work. Sometimes I wonder, why am I feeling stressed on a weekend?

So when I receive an invitation to a theme party, I am not at all pleased. If I know the person well enough I will even be so rude as to turn up in mufti.

It's not cool.

Fact about dress up parties: most girls love them, especially the themes that give them an excuse to wear short shorts and those criss crossy stockings. It brings out our inner 'diva,' you could say.

But give me a normal party any day.

2. The Electoral Finance Bill.

Can't we just outlaw the Exclusive Brethren?

Bad joke. But regardless of the benefits that this bill could bring to election campaign fairness (and I am becoming more doubtful of this each time I read the media. Hmmm. Maybe this is telling. Perhaps the media have a vested interest in this issue?), it's not politically savvy. And at the end of the day, governments can't go around (blatantly) doing what the public doesn't want.

I'm being reminded of Thatcher's last years. That's right, her last years. When she got on that 'My way or the highway' buzz. Some studies would say that many third term governments do it. And many would say that they promptly get chucked out.

Swallow your pride Labour, I don't want National to get elected.

3. Lulu has a new love interest. SS, and every other male in the universe, couldn't be further from her mind.

xx L

Friday, November 09, 2007

Love is in the air or is it?

You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love with you”

In the lives and homes of Red Confectionery the topics of love, lust, boys, relationships and sex have always being a dominant conversational focal point. Politics of course is always a very close second.

Looking back at Red Confectionery history, new relationships have been developed, hearts have been crushed, Friday night hook-ups were once a bi weekly thing, new sexual experiences have been encountered and a few have considered out of towners as being potentially attractive.

Statistics show that 88% of the Red Confectionery population is single and have been for more than six months. How can this be? Majority of Red Confectioners are attractive, independent, educated and all individually possess many other great attributes plus all can cook and dance. One thing that always makes us ponder on the question whilst always being reminded by the forever wonderful world of social networking is – “How is it your biggest enemy, the dorkiest person you know, that egoistical prick, or just downright plain and ugly always seem to manage to get lucky or have joined that group whom call themselves happily married?

I am sure our fellow patrons would understand, just go through one of your Facebook friends list and count the amount of times you say what the fuck because Facebook has reminded you that yes unattractive boring as hell people can get and often do get lucky in love; such wedded and familial bliss adorn their page.

The gossip grapevine of So and So are currently engaged or are you going to the Wilmington’s wedding this sat has encouraged some of the Red Confectionery population to join the fantastic Facebook group My friends are getting married, Im just getting Drunk”.

The group has now over 80,000 members who understand the perils of hearing constant stories about your previous high school classmates getting hitched. These members understand the anguish and the need to actually be a bit tiddly while one sits through the long monotonous speeches that frequent at weddings or keeping your mouth shut while you think wow another white strapless dress and roses – how original.

Hearing and seeing many current and past friends, acquaintances and enemies getting hitched all under the age of 24 does make one freak out and consider their relationship status. We always knew the marriage and family thing would be inevitable but by the age of 24 – Isn’t that a bit too soon or perhaps for some an indication of loneliness and desperation?

“You know it's bad when someone proposes to you at the beginning of the year(i said no!!) and are engaged to someone else by the end of the year - desperation????”
Sarah Kyfinn (West midlands) – member of the group “My friends are getting married, I’m just getting Drunk”.

The sad thing is that this non relationship spell has left some of fellow Red Confectioners mildly desperate at times as well where we have considered the following:

  • Speed Dating
  • Expanding our horizons to men belonging to the Out of Towner category.
  • Overdosing ourselves on Dr Phil relationship advice
  • Milky way bars
  • Going on a blind date with the I.T guy from work
  • Reading the book ‘The Rules’
  • Going back to church just because a group of hot guys walk in
Where do you meet people these days? Is there a secret club that no one at Red Confectionery knows about? Can Red Confectionery really follow the Rules religously and can anyone say it actually works while also keep your own self dignity at the same time.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

A Church Like No Other

This Sunday ARISE CHURCH in Wellington turns 5. It is headed by Pastors John and Jillian Cameron with an amazing number of other Wellington based Pastors as well, such as Levi and Nadia Marychurch the youth pastors and Ben and Anna Carroll who are the children and Young Adults pastor.

This is church that started off with 30 people and now has 1400 members and three services on a Sunday plus a youth service on a Friday night. With a constant stream of different pastors from around the world speaking this church is never boring.

This Sunday there will one service at the Wellington Town Hall at 5pm, and be assured it will be like no church service you have ever attended, there will actually be fireworks involved in the service and a huge number of people there.

100 years ago there was an article publsihed in a local Wellington paper stating that more people were attending movies each week than church, whilst last week another local paper wrote more people are attending church than the movies each week - ironic that Arise does not have a permanent location but is usually at the Paramount Theatre.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Guy Fawkes

I love Guy Fawkes.

Why? - Fireworks, Birthday Celebrations, pressies and cake!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

In the spirit of revising election campaigns...

How did this get elected.

Good Morning Baltimore!

I am in love!

On Saturday I went to see HAIRSPRAY at the movies, with bf in tow and loved it. The colour and songs and characters all worked really well and with a nice little story line about love/being different/racial differences tied in as well.

I now have the songs stuck in my head, and on my ipod! No doubts it will come out as a musical on stage soon in NZ, as it has been around the world since its original 1988 release.

A moment of silence please.

Tears were shed last night at one of the red confectioners home...okay mine.
Coronation Street will never be the same without Fred.
But as Fred would say "Never mind, I say, never mind

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

An interesting insight into the terror raids


It has been a very busy time indeed. On Monday 15th October, four houses (well one was a tent) in Wellington we're raided at dawn, and four people were arrested and charged with possession of firearms. Their residences were able to be searched under the 'terrorism suppression act 2002' but as of yet they have not been charged under the act. 13 others were arrested throughout the country, including Tame Iti who the media are having for lunch. My ex-partner, his brother and sister, and three of my friends are all in remand prison in Wellington and Auckland. It is incredibly hard to visit them; the process is frustrating to say the least. I have not visited them yet, but their partners and friends have. They are in single cells with nothing – just like on the movies.

The Wellington four had their bail hearing yesterday morning. The judge asked that the public leave but the media stayed, so we didn't get to see them for long – only a fleeting wave or two. Very heartbreaking. They did not get bail. Their name suppression continues for now which is good. Some have had their hearings in Auckland, the one I am most concern about will be heard on Monday I think and his bail is looking good.

These people have done nothing wrong. From my point of view they have been hand picked by the police because they are the main organisers for political activism in New Zealand. I do not understand why they are now in this situation. They did not and would never possess guns. I don't understand the connections with Tuhoe. I feel like I'm in a hazy cloud, it feels like the government and police have pulled wool over our eyes.

Here is what I feel is going on. It is from my heart and no where else, so please do not take it as fact.

  • New Zealand recently passed up the opportunity to sign to the UN declaration of Indigenous Rights, for which I have no words. Colonisation is now, current, ever beetling away, is all I can say to that. This has incensed many people as I think it should. Possibly there was an action relating to this being planned in the works? Who knows….

  • These activists have been bugged in this operation for 3 years (which means my converstations/emails/texts with my ex have been tracked for a long time). They are being oppressed for speaking out against the governments policies on a number of issues. It is well know that the crown and its enforcers do not like this bunch of people.

  • They are peace activists, environmentalists, tino rangatiratanga activists – not terrorists!!!!!

  • The police have no evidence of guns

  • The media knows nothing, and present this 'nothingness' as something, and even that they manage to present incorrectly. Do not believe the media. Think for yourself, think critically. Check out indymedia. Keep in mind that New Zealand is trying its hardest to look like its joining the 'war against terror'. The media is fear-mongering middle NZ and it is working. All they have to say is "Maori' 'Guns" "Terror" "Tame Iti" and show images of 128 Abel Smith Street (activist center) and there you have it – freak out.

  • The government is trying hard to pass the Terrorism suppression amendment act next week which will make it much easier to arrest people under the act. Potentially actions such as the 1981 springbok tour sit in on the Wellington motorway could be deemed as terrorism. This is 'police state' kind of action. New Zealand also wants to, or has already? Linked into the USA's terrorist list, meaning that people deemed to be terrorists by American standards cannot come here. This means for example, that anyone in the world who gets labelled as a terrorist will not be able to get refugee status in western countries. Ahmed Zaoui would not have had a chance here. If people, or a person anywhere stand up for their rights against their government for whatever reason, and their government does not like it – boom! They are a terrorist for life…..does this sound familiar. I believe this is going on in New Zealand/Aotearoa too.

Take action….tell people what you think, not what the media tells you.


This will affect us all, not just the 17 in jail right now.

Thanks for reading. Pass it on if you wish, or better still write your own rant.
Jesse Moss.
I can add to this last comment about not believing the media coverage, they know as little as we do quite frankly and I can illustrate this with two points.
  1. The Urewera raids, which this sting was based around must be placed in an historical light. Tuhoe have been fighting for their rights for a long time, these are Rua Kenana's people who around 1906 esteblished a cooperative community at the same Maungapohatu we've all seen in the news. Soon the community grew to around 1000 people, the land owned and farmed collectively with all proceeds being shared according to need.
To the Pakeha of the time all Maori were lazy, shiftless and drunken, so the return of self-repect and independence under Rua amazed and even rankled them. During WWI he was harassed by the police and in a moment of anger he said the Germans would win. This was the moment the Pakeha were waiting for. Rua and 31 others were arrested for sedition during which shots were exchanged between police and his followers. His oldest son Toko and Toko's maternal uncle Te Maipi were killed. A jury found Rua not guilty of sedition and only "morally" guilty of resisting arrest.
Sir Joseph Ward was reported as saying "I told Rua, that in New Zealand , Edward is King.....There can be no other Government or King...there can't be two suns shining in the sky at once. The picture below picture shows Rua's arrest on April 2nd 1916, after a shootout between his followers and 70 armed police. He is handcuffed to his son Whatu. Rua was sentenced to 12 months hard labour after what was the longest trial in New Zealand history at the time. To stress my point, things haven't changed much since 1916.
2. My second point refers to the 'tip off' recieved from the two hunters. This area is a popular hunting ground and there has long been contention between non-tuhoe hunters who often trespass on Tuhoe land. In fact some of the best hunting grounds are on Tuhoe land. This is important for two reasons, firstly, this is not the fist time non-Tuhoe hunters have had the finger pointed at them and falsley implicated in illegal activity. Secondly the alleged training camp, is a hunting and gathering camp for Tuhoe locals, hui are held there, families go camping there, there are guns around and theyre used for hunting.
please pass this on,
Ben Phillips

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Long gone are the days when Superheroes were cool.

Someone give Stan Lee his pills. Seriously.

Guess what Bitches this is your next Superhero. Does'nt he look fierce.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Children's Oncologist Gone

Yet another resignation at Wellington Hospital has left patient's and their families devastated at what the they will have to do to receive treatment.

The latest resignation comes from the only remaining child oncologist, meaning that all children suffering from cancer will have to travel to other hospitals in the country to receive tertiary treatment.

With currently 30 children under the Child Cancer Service at Wellington Hospital this is a huge strain to place on other hospitals, and furthermore the number of cases increases by about 11 each year. Wellington Hospital provides the service for patients in the lower North Island region as well as Wellington.

CCDHB has committed themselves to still providing the service and to finding another oncologist, however they will need to find more than one to battle the increasing work load.

Whilst Starship caters for many children around New Zealand they usually take critical cases and children from smaller urban areas that do have such specialist pediatricians in their hospitals.

Ronald McDonald House also allows a home away from home for parents, and the children themselves if they do not require constant hospitalisation but may need daily treatments.

It is horrible that officials are appearing to not be too concerned and that parent's who are alreading caring for their sick children, now have to fight to keep this much needed service.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

What the?

As pointed out by Craig Foss:

Oct 11 2007 : PM Clark opens new PN electorate office for Steve Maharey.

Oct 19 2007: Steve Maharey announces intention to resign.


Ab-King Master

My current place of residence has invested in an ab0king pro, the whole 3 minutes a day, lose ten pounds in ten days machine and you will have abs of steel one day.

I need to get back in shape after being so sick and basically having had no energy for ages, so I have taken up swimming again, running, walking and have decided that using the ab king pro would be great as when I am short of time, which is often, I can just jump on this for 3 minutes.

So yesterday as I cooked dinner for the kids, and had prepared us adults dinner, I thought I would start using the machine. Now due to the shape of my back I can not have it on the hardest resistance but I had it on a good one for me. So I did my 3 minutes, and let me assure it is NOT as easy as it looks on TV. I could feel where abs should be contracting and whilst I felt like I had done a small workout I thought I could probably go for longer, so after checking on dinner I went back and did some more time on it.

This morning, whilst I did not miraculously wake up with the six pack the ads would lead you believe you can get, I am not sore (unless I cough) and can feel kinda of tighter in a weird way, so who knows maybe if I keep this up I will sculpt my way to a firmer sexier body haha.

So the ab-king pro currently gets a thumbs up from me, although it does not compare to step class which I miss greatly.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Getting choked by Cherry Garcia Ice Cream.

Once in a while I get the urge to drive down to my local video store book a few dvds and curl up on the couch with a packet of crisps and a couple of scoops of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice cream. Now I am always one for recommendations but have come partial to only receiving recommendations from a select few because of one particular reason - Movies being over rated.

If you answer yes to three or more of the following questions/statements, then it is likely that I will ignore any recommendations you make and seriously hope and pray for the rest of us that you don't take Film and Television at Auckland University in the quest to become the next Peter Jackson. Your taste in film sucks and probably only extends as far as the Blockhouse Bay Video Ezy Collection.

  1. You list more than one of the following as your favorite actors/actresses on your facebook/bebo/myspace page - Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz, Josh Harnett, Will Smith, Eninmemem, Angelina Jolie ( ahem sucking her way to the top), Brad Pitt - Jolie lil bitch, Ben Affleck, Leonardo Dicaprio, Zac Efron, Temeura Morrison, -the list goes on and on.
  2. You have no idea what Rialto, The Academy or Ludo cinemas is or where they are located.
  3. You drink Tui.
  4. You think that you're clued up on the whole film world because you drophatt Steven Spielberg like you're some clued up movie buff.
  5. You have never gone down the international/film festival section of the video store collection.
  6. You like romantic comedies that have Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez - actually anyone named Jennifer in them.
  7. You think you're the next Peter Jackson because your year 5 teacher gave you an A for your stupid english programme on your video project about your dog Rusty.
  8. You always go for the overhyped movies such as the Simpsons, Harry Potter, Titanic and so on
Now on to my list of the most overrated movies I have seen in the past few years - feel free to add your own. (not in any chronological order)

  1. Titanic - ( i was gutted that they all didnt die)
  2. Forest Gump
  3. Dances with Wolves
  4. Father of Bride Series
  5. War of the Worlds - (Die Dakota Fanning die die die!)
  6. The Matrix
  7. Grease
  8. The Good Shepherd
  9. Pirates of the Caribean 2
  10. The Da Vinci Code

Lulu on the move

Shudder and procrastination. Flat hunting. I've forgotten how to do it.

You see, I've been living pretty merrily for the past year with friends, getting up to all sorts of shenanigans, getting away with all sorts of things that most flats would have me out on the street with an "unbridled party animal" sign stuck firmly on my forehead.

Things like, for example, bringing a party back to the flat at 5am. And letting all sorts of characters camp on the couch. And living right in the city, with carparks. So good. And being comfortable enough with my flatmates to politely, but firmly, state "shut up," when I'm studying for exams.

Actually, I've only done the 5am thing a couple of times, which didn't count as I was already out with a flatmate. I'm not that bad. But I'm pretty bad.

So far I've been lucky with flats; I am pretty easygoing. At least I think so. My only vice is being a bad influence and being a little messy. Some would debate the use of the word "little" being in front of "messy" but standards differ. I'm a very considerate flatmate; emotionally at least.

So now I have the difficult task of finding a cool place. But how do you weed out the unsuitable ones?

Many ads say "no pets," and desire a "non smoker." This is a tell tale sign. They are fussy. I don't blame them, I used to absolutely abhor smokers... Until I became one. But for some reason, this comes across as "straight laced" to me. And well, I've found stoners to be generally cool, easygoing cats. And how do you find those in the newspaper?

I'm a little tempted to call up a flat that says their ideal flatmate would be "Japanese" or "Chinese." Just to give them a shock. I guess saying that kind of thing saves people a lot of time. And ones that say "English speaker preferred" are probably not my cup of tea either. But you should know that I'm cringingly PC by now.

Something I've also picked up in the ads are the well-written, all-details-included, perfect grammar mini essays. These could not have been written by guys, and usually signify the presence of a bossy, 21ish, alpha-female type, which I have come across before. Not a bad thing, but girls like that can be so fussy sometimes. Or maybe (shock, horror) I am an alpha female. But I don't think so.

One actually looked really good, until it said "we are three fun loving girls who are looking for a fine speciMAN." The disturbing thing is, I don't think they were trying to be dodgy. But speaking of dodgy ads, there were a couple of 40ish males sneakily advertising in the "Flatmates Wanted" when what they really meant was "Flat Wanted." To share with themselves and all their "Confirmed Bachelor" glory. That's all I have to say to about that.

Of course, when meeting potential flatmates you definitely need to put on the "weirdo filter," but that comes with common sense. And let me tell you, if I see one fucking didgeridoo I will be out of there, pronto. Unless it's being used for firewood.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this. And I've made myself out to appear remarkably fussy, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just don't want anyone to be remarkably fussy with me, thank you very much.

And I haven't even started on what kind of house I like to live in. (Backyard, window in bedroom, big lounge, maybe a couple of paintings on walls, clean -not tidy- bathroom) I wouldn't generally recommend moving in with friends, but it has worked out for me before. It helps if you've known those friends for several years though. And unfortunately for me, most of mine are still in their comfortable nests at home, or with "serious" live in boyfriends.

I'm totally over this flat hunting business. I hate looking for flats and despite my party reputation I hate moving and would prefer a fixed abode.

I might start thinking about getting my friends out of their nests.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Mirror Images

In the spirit of polls, statistics and Outrageous fortune. Red Confectionery asks:

They're identical twins but the question is Who would you take home?

OR .....

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Its what we do on a monday night

Ubergeeks Farrar, Heine and Kiwigirl comment on the recent Durex survey and it has the girls and guys at Red Confectionery finger and toe counting their "statistics". Lists are written and stories are shared. In true Red Confectionery manner, totals are calculated and averaged out. Average shows that Red Confectionery is listed the low mid tier of the spectrum. The spectrum showing on the far left virginal, never been kissed, Im saving myself for marriage LDS ring bearer while on the far right My 100,000 lovers New Zealand infamous sex addict Coralie.

In the world of Red Confectionery we recently learn:
  • A fellow confectioner (is that even a word) has currently finished their last Uni essay and possibly their last paper for their current degree.
  • Guys that go to the Rugby are hot. To be more precise 80% of the guys aged under 35 that go to Rugby at Eden Park with pink colored ASB stand level 5 tickets are hot.
  • Open mike night at Grand Central is becoming our Monday night pastime.
  • The month of October is terribly expensive and stressful.
  • Red Confectionery Patron God Newsboy has crossed "paths" with two fellow confectioners ( a boy and girl) at seperate times.
  • Patron God Newsboy is added to both boy and girl confectioners list.
And our urban word/phrase of the day is: Leave Britney Alone.

Monday, October 15, 2007


Political activists, beware! You are all under suspicion of terrorism. In order to make yourself appear innocent when raided, I suggest you get rid of the following paraphernalia that may be in your possession:

-Proof of communication between yourself and anyone considered 'radical.' This of course, includes Greenpeace and Save Happy Valley activists. (those militant thugs)
-Your big mouth. It's not OK to talk about anarchism.
(And obviously, weapons. Weapons are bad and if you have them then you should, probably, be arrested)

But I suspect that the raids that took place today did not uncover any weapons from groups like Save Happy Valley and Aotearoa Anarchists. And I don't think it's OK for innocent people to have their homes raided, and their address splashed across national newspapers.

It also makes me uncomfortable to see that the Terrorism Suppression Act bypasses our right to freedom of association, making it illegal to 'take part in a terrorist organisation.' Where do you draw the line? What is a terrorist organisation? It seems the finger is being pointed at radical, but reasonably harmless groups.

Don't get me wrong. I certainly don't support violent anti-government groups, or even anti-government groups for that matter. Or even political parties that aren't in government. And I would like to see the Sky Tower, that symbol of oppression, stay intact, thank you very much.

I just think that raiding all political activist groups goes a bit overboard, and is not only unecessary but entirely self defeating. I'm not so naive that I think no such violent anti-government activity goes on in New Zealand, but I think that doing things like this will make people afraid that there is more going on than there actually is.

And cause unecessary fuss. And make people suspicious of one another, and intolerant of different beliefs. And waste tax payer money.

It will be interesting to see the public's reaction to today's events.

Drowning my disapointment in the Auckland public with a glass of gin and tonic

Things that disappointed and annoyed me last week.

Hearing the news that John Banks was re elected. Seriously disappointing.

The English winning and having to avoid any English rugby fanatic. This is of course is a very easy task as the ERF can be spotted miles away - pasty white, david beckham shaved heads, dreamy british accents or those who are less unfortunate- cockney or leeds twang and always found in backpackers such as the Fat Camel.

Text messages from Sailor and Oscar Wilde. Boys are funny. You be a complete bitch to them and they attach to you like ants to a jam jar on a summers day.

The wind and rain. Bring on summer and barbeques.

The movie Holiday - the most boring movie ever.

Things that bought a smile to my face last week.

Sunday Brunch.

Knowing that Summer is near.

Birthday celebrations.

Frank Sinatra "I did it my way"

Working in my new office.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Radar alert.

Last night Lulu and I (lured by rugby shorts of course) battled through the rain and wind to the rugby. We arrived, with out pink colored tickets, huge umbrellas and our eyes on hot guy radar alert. Luckily our tickets were for the members lounge ASB stand and not the uncovered terraces.

Boy was the Hot guy radar alert on full siren that night. They were everywhere at the bar, behind the bar, sitting down in their seats, the waiters , behind us, in front of us, on our left and our right and of course on the field.

A bottle of wine later and having plenty of eye candy to digest, it was pretty much half time and well since Auckland was pretty much winning by that stage, Lulu and I decided to leave to of course create more wild debauchery but thats another story for another time.

p.s: This whole going to the rugby or cricket thing could become a regular pastime for the various reasons:
1. Hot guys
2. Free tickets to games
3. Hot guys

Saturday, October 13, 2007

The lure of rugby shorts

I'm going to the rugby tonight - for one reason and one reason only.

To perve at the boys, of course! Wouldn't have a CLUE who's playing.

xx L

Friday, October 12, 2007

Its not how we're drinking

Click on Picture!

A Weekend of Birthdays

Last weekend both Pamziewamzie and I turned 21. Pamzie turned 21 on the 6th and I on the 7th.

Whilst I was unable to make the celebrations in Auckland I understand that it was great night, and with the theme of Breast Cancer Awareness pink balloons were everywhere, alot of alcohol was consumed and alot of fun had by all.

I had my party a couple of weekends ago at the Southern Cross Bar in Wellington. It was small gathering of about 30 people with an interesting mix of family, family friend, old flatmates and friends. About midnight my friends and I continued the night in town.

Sad that neither Pamzie or I could make each others birthdays but rest assured that we certainly had a drink for each other.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

It Still Hurts

A number of jokes are out about the All Blacks loss against France, and hence departure from the World Cup.

Here are some I have received, please feel free to add more in comments.

Police found a man had hung himself wearing an All Blacks jersey, the police took it off and dressed the man in womans underwear, so his family would not be embarrassed.

What’s the difference between the All Blacks and an arsonist? An arsonist woouldn’t waste five matches.

What do you call 15 guys sitting around the T.V watching the Rugby World Cup final? The All Blacks

Hear the All black’s are replacing the silver fern on there jersey’s with a red tampon as it’s the worst fucken period they’ve ever had.

John Kirwan has been selected as the next All Black coach as he knows how to deal with depression. (bad taste I know)

What’s the difference between Graham Henry and Viagra?
At least Viagra gives you a semi.

Graham Henry gets handed a mobile phone and is told “this is Wayne Barnes’s phone”, Henry says “how did you know”, the reply is “it had 15 missed calls”

What's the difference between a tea-bag and the All Blacks?
A Tea Bag stays in the cup longer

Heard about the All Blacks new bra? All support but no cup

Friday, October 05, 2007

All the small things

There's something about the weather getting sunnier that makes me a bit sentimental. (No, I didn't rescue a penguin)

The other day I was driving up a hill to uni, when my car ran out of gas. Luckily, I was metres away from a petrol station, so drove in. Well, chugged in is a better word for it. But to my dismay, I had forgotten my wallet.

...Actually I lie, I was out of money; day before pay day etc etc.

This guy came up to me and offered to help push my car, which he thought had broken down. Feeling utterly irresponsible, I confessed that I had just run out of gas and was getting a friend to bring me some cash.

I sat in the car, literally about to explode with stress (it's assignment season) when there was a knock at the window. The guy who spoke to me before put some money into my hand. What a darling.

It's not the money or the generousity, it's the gesture. It really made my week. We complain so much about how fucked up the world is, but it really only takes a small thing to fill your heart with warm fuzzies.

I guess it has a lot to do with how we choose to perceive the world; I mean, I could have felt patronised for being classified like some kind of homeless person (although I'm not far off, being a student), but I didn't.

On Wednesday I was looking after some kids, so I took them ice skating. I was speeding along the ice (I love skating) when this six year old suddenly appeared in front of me. We tried to dodge but I ended up bowling into her, so I scooped her up and literally carried her for the next few metres so she didn't fall over. Her friend came rushing up to me,

"Are you OK?" She asked.

What an absurd question, a 6 year old worried about a 20 year old that had almost bowled over her friend. So sweet.

They wanted to compete in the race that takes place every ice skating session, so I sorted it out for them, being tall enough to talk to the people at the booth. I thought, that really is something, being young enough to not care whether you win or lose; which they would, having legs the length of my arm.

And I was in a lecture the other day, the lecturer started talking about how people run for political office. He told us about this man he ran into at the supermarket, who confessed to running as an independent every election... despite losing every election. He made me think, there's also something courageous in that, maybe I should acknowledge that kind of personal strength next time I bag an MP.

The world is full of these things. Birds building their nests, one piece of straw at a time. Caterpillars morphing into butterflies, taking hours to struggle from their chrysallis until they fly off. Babies struggling to get up off the ground for their first crawl (I've seen this, it's amazing).

And I don't know why I wanted to write this. Except to say that I am, for no particular reason, very happy right now, and very grateful.

We should try and take the time to notice these things.

xx L

So much for responsible journalism

Truth Newspaper has named the Police Office that shot Stephen Bellingham dead last week in Christchurch.

I think that this absolutely disgusting, and a cheap attempt to boost the publications circulation.

The incident is being looked into currently and very few people know what happened in this incident. Their are reports that the officer was threatened by Bellingham with a hammer and acted in self defence, and if it is found otherwise it will dealt with appropriately.

To have named the officer is unacceptable and irresponsible, as it does not only affect the named officer but also their entire family and friends. My heart goes out to the officer and their family at this time, especially as the officer was doing their job, and ensuring that no one including themself was hurt by Bellingham.

I believe that this case is certainly a reason as to why tasers should be given to the Police, as in a scenario like this it would have been the option to use, however I am not completely against guns, as I feel that if you are confronted by a gunman who has open fire against the Police possibly while also having killed people then a gun is more appropriate.

NB The link does not lead to an article naming the officer

Thursday, October 04, 2007

What Have I Done?

My little sister has over the recent years become more and more interested in politics, something which I certainly never expected. She has always been right wing, and I was convinced a staunch National Party supporter. Well now she has gone further right and even announced it on bebo:

In just over 3 months I will legally be able to drink and vote.

So come election time next year I will be casting my vote.

Who to vote for many of you may ask?

Well for that is not a very hard decision...

I am not maori so that rules out the Maori Party
I am against hypocricy so that rules out Labour
I am not a big fan of John Key so that rules out National
I am not into Green party policies so that eliminates the Greens
United Future and Destiny= not me

So that only leaves one real choice,

The party that strives for excellence, the party that has the best policies, the party that will strive to deliver a free market.

The only party totally worthy of my vote

The party is ACT!!!

I am intrigued to see how well she will rally support for them next year as she studies as Massey in Palmerston North, although considering she is doing a Bachelor of Applied Economics there will probably be people who will join her in supporting ACT.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Breast Cancer

Please support this awesome cause!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

It's a strange condition...

Another list of things that strike me as strange...

The A Team was disadvantaged by a smear campaign. My mistake, I didn't know 16 year olds went to Victoria University, did you?

People are taking Banks seriously. Auckland chucked him out, now they want him back in. Has he cured world hunger? Has he had a facelift? Oh no, the only thing that's changed is the amount of grey hairs on his head.

Out in Auckland's west suburbs another failed politician is trying to climb the local body ranks. Word on the street says that's not the only thing he likes to climb...

A guy in Scotland was reported to have a four month hangover. Haha, only in Edinburgh...

Despite spouting Labour policy like it's been their's all along, the National Party has finally opened their trap. Inadvertently. Asset sales and increases in doctor's caps; big bloody surprise.

Keeping Auckland Fryer Free. No, it's not an anti P campaign, it's an anti City Vision campaign. They're cool people. Seriously. The only reason rates have risen in Auckland is because a reluctant right wing council kept them down for so long. Those buses need warrants of fitness, you know...

Daylight saving has begun. But where I am, all that's being saved is more friggin rain time.

Over and out.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Mile High Club

When I'm on a long haul flight I always wondered how easy it could be to become part of the exclusive Mile High Club. Does it start with a subtle brush on the cute 19 year old guy leg who is about to spread his seed around in every club in Europe or pulling the necktie of the 25 year old recent graduated businessman from New York.

On my recent visit to Montreal the following happened on the plane:

Words were exchanged.

Things gots bumpy.

Hands slipped in unknown territories.

A few oohs and aahs were muttered between two people.

New members to the Mile High Club.

Simple as that.

Character Flaws

The problem with dating someone for the first time is that you can never really know them, until you get to know them. In this process character flaws become very apparent, regardless of how normal people appear to be.

Now, everyone has character flaws. But I want to talk about the freaky ones, inspired by people I have met and stories I've been told. Feel (very) free to add your own.

So you've been dating someone for a couple of weeks only to discover... (to your horror)

Their penis is miniscule.

They are completely, and utterly obsessed with playing the didgeridoo. At first you think it is just a quirky hobby, until they start bringing it over to your flat. To the delight of your flatmates, who find it hugely entertaining. They have a special bag for it, special polish, and even a special stand in their house for it. They also make a habit of bringing the phallic instrument to small social gatherings. Entirely lacking in social skills, they aren't quite able to distinguish between people laughing at them, or with them.

They confess that they only get turned on by redheads. A quick search on their computer reveals an impressive collection of ginger porn.

(You are a brunette.)

They are only able to come when you call them 'mother.'

They have an obsession with Ireland, despite being a 5th generation New Zealander. They change their name by deed poll to something Irish, or O'Malley-ish. they grow their hair so it is loooong, curly and greasy, and have an impressive selection of celtic jewellery. And swords.

They have an obsession with anal sex.

They wear 'Rio' underwear. (available exclusively from Foodtown)

They are chronic pot smokers. (not actually a huge problem)

They are obsessed with a political party.

They have a girlfriend on the other side of the world ("what, you didn't know?")

That's all I can think of.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Boy Meets Girl Part III

The good thing about introspection is that it tends to suss a lot of crap out for me, through seeing this story written down. Typed down, whatever. But I'll finish what I started...

I was pretty much over the whole SS thing. No wasting time on players, thanks. I mean, they tend to be in the slightly more seductive range of men, but I really don't have the energy to tolerate that kind of bloke. Imagine the stress! Worrying where they are all the time, worrying who those girls are on his phone, wondering if you should get their gonads fixed so that their seed isn't spread to the whole of Hamilton...

As a word of advice, guys who are players should only ever be used as "Milky way" men. That's right, used. If you can handle that type of thing. Easily consumed, easily finished.

The problem occurs when you don't finish - as the novelty, and amount of chocolate in a Milky way, only lasts so long.

I ran into SS again, several months later. And I ran into him again, several months after that. And again, and again. What happened, you ask. More fuzziness.

But I can give you a list of um, places which shed light on the situation.

Lounge (couch wedging door shut)

I'm sorry to say that I didn't do it in any local churches; I'm just not that kind of girl.

In fact, I ran into SS every couple of months for the next four years. That's right, FOUR YEARS.

Coincidence (and drunken texts) factors into this. I have discovered that SS is family friends with several of my friends, and anyone that you know from up north probably knows SS too. And all the girls in Hamilton. I'm just picking Hamilton because they have that kind of reputation. You will probably even run into SS when you go to a funeral, as I did. Strange. Very strange.

Fact: SS is so much of a player that three of my friends have slept with him. Of course, none of this went on once they knew that I knew him. But I don't doubt that the day will come when another one of my friends goes:

"Like, oh my God I've just met the coolest guy!!"

"Oh really? How big was it?" (Haha, just joking, this is not the first question that girls ask - it's the second)

"Oh really? What's his name?"


"Gurl, that man is bad news. Been there, done that."

Once when SS came over to my flat I told him I had the house allll to myself. But when SS exited my room, several girls were there getting ready for the evening's shenanigans, including one who he had hooked up with. Poor SS, he didn't like that. But it was so much fun to make him suffer the consequences of his promiscuous actions. There's also the time when SS was caught by one of my flatmates in my house, a friend from up north. Probably family. But that was an accident.

Anyway, before I go off track, let's keep a few things in mind:

1. SS and I have been "friends" for four years now. In any relationship, that is a long time.
2. It works two ways - I am not the only one who sends drunken texts.
3. SS has cheated on his girlfriend with me.
Note: This girlfriend was one of the girls from Miss Popularity. No kidding. This is the kind of competition I am up against. This puts me off. As the less erudite person would say, fuck that shit!!
4. I have cheated on boyfriends with SS. (Note plural is actually indicative of only two)
5. When SS and I get talking, we actually get along pretty well. Considering I try to keep the chit chat to the minimum.
6. SS makes me laugh.
7. SS votes Labour, but not in the sense that he is a political geek and wants to talk politics. (Although he told me once that it turns him on when I do)
8. SS is gorgeous.
9. SS was my first, and he knows this.
Note: On Nip Tuck the other night, Christian seduced Kimber with all sorts of lies. When questioned he said, "I say what I always say to get women into bed with me." Kimber asked, "Why me?" He replied: "Because you're the only woman who makes me feel like the most important man in the world."

That is just creepy.

10. Sexytime with SS is EPIC.

I won't delve into the obvious facts, and reasons against: SS could be using me and doesn't actually give a shite at all. But my instinct says he does. My instinct also tells me he is using me. My instinct is also wrong sometimes. Fatally wrong. There are signals that tell me SS is into me, such as wanting to set his friends up with mine so we can spend more time together. And complaining that he only sees me every few months. And wanting to come to my 21st. And being the one to remind me that it's been four years...

Although, this could mean nothing at all, and is merely my take on seeing something that I want to be true.

Sidetracking again, doesn't it suck being a girl? I would give anything to lessen my capacity to feel as much, wouldn't you?!

The other day after SS had been over, I was having drinks at my flat, and got stuck outside with this guy who I hadn't met yet. We got talking, and he was raving about his new fiancè. I asked him how they met. And since I'm the kind of person who people tend to tell a lot, I was stuck outside with him for awhile. Turns out he knew his fiancè for about four years, and that they were also "friends" for this long. She had been asking him out for ages, but he could never commit.

I was pretty fine about my situation, but it got that idea in my head. Not that I want to marry him, Lord no. But it got me thinking.

I know I could probably keep doing this, (after all, sex is sex) but I have to say that after every time I see SS, I do feel like I have almost finished that Milky way, and would prefer to move on to something more substantial. Like one of those giant Toblerones. But after a couple of months I'm over it, and in the short term, am happy with milky ways.

I know that if I do bring it up, SS could run a mile. And then, after a few months I'll inadvertently grab another Milky way's ass in town, and realise to my dismay that it belongs to SS. And the same thing will happen again. Until one of us grows up.

But I am growing up. I get the feeling it is make or break time - and if it is break time, I will have to make SS promise to deflect my advances. And not make any advances himself.

The point of this drawn out story is to find out where I want to go. I have two options:

a) Invite SS over one last time and explain that it's over. (In the morning) Give SS the 'spare' flat toothbrush to use. (We use this toothbrush for cleaning - hey, that will stop me hooking up with him again)
b) Invite SS over again, kick flatmates out, and make dinner for him. Act the same as before. Invite SS over again, tell him he has to watch this horror movie with me because I can't watch it by myself. Invite SS over again and don't sleep with him. Gradually increase amount of time I spend with SS, etc, etc.

The general idea is that I will gradually, and manipulatively, get closer to SS. This is the harder option, and not generally my cup of tea.

But straight talking is not an option; it never works.

The question is, what would you do? Is this a fleeting fling, or can something be salvaged from it?

Your's in exasperation,

xx L