Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sunday mornings

In a momentary lapse of sense I offered to work this morning. Now I'm sitting at a desk, bleary eyed, my body trying to get over the shock of being up early on a Sunday. (I got up ages ago, but yes, noon is still very early!!)

However, I'm working early so I can go out for dinner tonight - excitement - love going out for dinner!

Anyway, I thought it was time our Patron God was changed. (again) Especially considering that the current one is of questionable sexuality - not that it matters, because we are on a voluntary "man drought" at Red Confectionery - but it is time someone else was given the extraordinary honour of being adored by us.

There are a few nice politicians in New Zealand (Darren Hughes and "Hot Nat" Matt Patterson spring to mind) but unfortunately, the world of politics is a very small sphere and any public expression of affection is likely to be met with a bumping into each other along Lambton Quay. Awkward silences follow... (Oh my God, you're that freak from the internet?!) Plenty more yummy guys to be distracted with at work though.

First of all, I am introducing a thing I like to call, "Standards." These are the criteria that any Patron God of ours must meet:
  • He must be a New Zealander. We're not being racist; instead we're applying affirmative action - Kiwi men need recognition for their talents.
  • He must be capable of conversation and not be socially inept. "So, do you like stuff?" is not an adequate conversation starter.
  • Hotness is a bonus, but not a requirement. Since we're PC we'll just pretend to believe this but know that deep down our loins will never crave, say Miles from The Holiday.
  • This is not a must but I find it really attractive when a guy has this look of quiet amusement in his eyes all the time, like he finds everything really funny or something. This usually corresponds with a sense of humour, which is a requirement for Godliness.


At the moment, Jeremy Wells fits these requirements perfectly. He's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. And possibly one of the most hilarious people in television. I also suspect he is a leftie. Oh, to have him as my very own newsboy...

I used to stay up late just for Eating Media Lunch - not only to perve but for the clever insights it had into NZ politics etc. OK, enough drooling.

Enjoy the eye candy, girls...

6 comments:

Cactus Kate said...

Craig Parker and Newsboy share similar dubiousness on all fronts.

Paul said...

I can see now why I wasn't chosen - not a New Zealander. It's a shame - I meet all the other requirements perfectly.

Little Red Riding Hood said...

No Kate, you must be pulling my leg. Woe is me...

Just my opinion said...

Didn't I read a story about Craig Parker and his dodgy "secret" doings with another guy many years back?

fatfa said...

Awesome Choice Lulu... I too would pick him for my newsboy.

Little Red Riding Hood said...

Possibly. I have no comment.